Against Reason
by bloodpurple and murkpond green
Summary: AU: Arrogant,cold and indisputably popular school senior Darian Sheilds has a darker agenda when he volunteers to tutor Serena,indisputably the school's worst student-for extra class credit. D/S later chapters
1. Chapter 1

Against Reason: Chapter One

I own nothing.

Let us begin –

* * *

.beeeep

"Arghhhhhhhhh."

A small hand crept furtively from the covers, flaying half heartedly for the source of the insistent beeping. Finally the cartoon Cheshire cat was silenced by a successful swipe. The five small pink nails, faithfully painted a 'la' French tip by Mina and just as faithfully gnawed to the quick by Serena, retreated slowly beneath its warm duvet shelter.

One or two thumps, broke through her muddy conscious. "Oh Doofus – you know its Tuesday right? Not Saturday." Serena's little brother Sammy dressed and fed sauntered past her bedroom door. Sammy's voice, like a sudden voltage, shocked Serena completely from sleep.

The fog horn wail rose through the house. "Mom! Why didn't you wake me.! Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!"

A small whirlwind of blond tresses, blue pleats and randomly grasped work books flung themselves down the stairs, through the door and down the street. "Late again," Moaned Serena, "Two out two – Amy's going to freak!"

* * *

" Seriously Serena, how could you forget breakfast and your lunch? You're completely hopeless. You would forget your pigtails if they weren't stuck to that useless head of yours." Rei's stream of abuse was taken silently by a contrite Serena as it came with half of Rei's lunch and a well hidden but genuine thread of concern. "You're sixteen Serena!" You can't keep doing this! Would you like half an apple? And another thing - ? "

"Enough Rei," Broke in Lina, her Amazonia form stretched across the shaded grass, "You've been ranting for ten minutes straight now. Give Serena a break, besides you and I both know that deep down you like Serena scatter brained-cause it makes you feel Superior."

Rei's wrath was instantaneous, "Does not"

"Does too"

"Does not"

"Does too"

"Nu –huh"

"Ya huh"

"What are you two arguing about? People are starting to look" Amy quietly pointed out, as she walked up to her sprawled friends and choosing Serena's right, sunk, gracefully onto the grass. Serena gratefully welcomed her gentle friend with a relieved smile. She loved all her friends with a fierce loyalty, to the point of almost blind faith, but in her secret heart, it was gentle sweet Amy she loved most of all.

"They're just arguing over the fact that Rei likes me stupid, er-late, irresponsible, oh- and careless because it makes her feel superior." Serena offered unperturbed.

Amy's brow furrowed, "I don't understand? Are you saying that Rei is disputing the existence of these attributes?" Amy was a specific person by nature, and facts were facts. Serena was irresponsible and careless but neve-

"NO!" Rei injected suddenly, greeting Amy with a sudden whip of black hair and flashing black eyes, whilst simultaneously defending herself against Lita's unfettered flow of verbal abuse, "Hi Amy! Of course Serena is all those things, I'm just not shallow enough to compare myself to her to feel superior, that would just be sad –"

"You are so in denial your –"

Clearly the thread of Rei's love and concern was deeply, deeply, deeply hidden, Serena mused. What was deeper then Lava? Amy would undoubtedly know.

"Rei!" Amy's sudden snap, silenced the two into stunned state.

Amy's anger was a rare and fearful thing.

"Apologise to Serena immediately! Now! She's not stupid!"

Rei stared at Amy, then to Serena, a crimson flush crept up her neck as her earlier words hit home. She had just called her best friend stupid.

"I,I,I,I,I,I - didn't mean it like that, Amy, Serena. Honest. I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I..." Rei's usually clear, decisive voice had begun to shake, a wet sheen on her black eyes.

Serena sprung, with an unusual display of co-ordination Serena engulfed Rei into a bear hug, her reassures bumblering through a tangled curtain of black and blond hair.

"Iknowwhatyoumean. Youlovemenomatterwhat. , dontcry, skay!"

Rei grasped Serena fiercely, "Really? You understand right?"

"Yup".

Lita and Amy shared a sudden flash of bewildered incomprehension, these two were the first to rip each other to shreds and even faster to defend the other. Madness. Or hormones.

"If I could just interrupt this female bonding session for a moment...?" broke into over the group. Four different reactions responded to the sudden question asked in a deep male voice.

Amy blushed and immersed herself in whatever epic tome of quadratic equations she clasped to her delicate frame, Lita ogled unashamedly, Serena groaned and Rei, well Rei whipped herself from Serena's clutch, flew to her feet, flicked her silken mane into instantaneous submission with lightening hand movements and basked the new comer in a two hundred watt smile, "Hi Darien? How can we help?"

Darien Shields. Senior Class. Tall, dark, cool as frozen winters pond and as sharp as a figure skaters blade; or in Lita's words, a serious stud muffin. Oh, and let's not forget the brains – he was currently on the fast tracked for Med school.

And Serena's personal day walking nightmare.

Now Serena was the first to admit, when it came to hot boys she was the first in queue to take a number. However when it came to Darien, well-there was an exception to every rule. With a deliberate and definite twist of her spine Serena turned from Darien, the move might have been rather smooth dismissal- if she hadn't caught her waist length pigtail on her shoe buckle and yelped like a prairie dog. Serena looked up to find that after a simple glance of distaste, her presence had simply been dismissed. That about summed it up, thought Serena, dismissed. I'm not even worth his disdain. I don't even feature on the radar. Serena couldn't put a finger on the point that Darien had written her off as a waste of space. Somewhere in the beginning obviously, whilst every girl in the school, and her friends were no exception...( well maybe Amy), threw themselves in Darien's way. Serena shielded from his obvious disgust like an allergic kid in a peanut farm, run by cats and specializing in dust motes.

Serena knew she had, as her teachers repeatedly complained, "a volatile nature", was prone to overreact, be loud, boisterous and easily excitable. But she knew she wasn't a bad person. After all why would Lita, Rei, Mina, Amy and even popular Molly want to be her friend if she didn't have any redeeming qualities.

So why did Darien make her feel like "Oxygen thief", with a single glance. He repeatedly referred to her as "Meatball head" when he deemed to recognise her existence at all, unlike this particular moment. Serena reacted as any self respecting female would. She abused him at every possible opportunity. Half the girls thought she was mad, the other half thought she was a Lesbian. And Amy, well Amy kept her thoughts to herself.

Serena re-entered the present conversation from her mental monologue to catch Darien's final remark.

"So to earn extra credit, seniors are being offered to act as tutors for juniors. We simply need to collect over forty willing participates and they will run the official program. What do you guys say? Is there anything you others could use some extra tutoring with? Math? English?" Darien held out a black clip board and sporting what appeared to be fifty signatures, all female and several featured mobile phone numbers.

"I don't think you need us Darien, I think you've exceed your forty person limit single handed, "noted Lita, searching for free space, and resorted to flipping the page, where the scrawls continued. Darien gave a faint chuckle, laced with a slight derisive note. Serena looked at him curiously, there was something unhappy suddenly in his eyes, a hardness that didn't really sit well with the school uniform of a teenager. But then again all the girls constantly raved about his maturity.

And broad shoulders.

Slim hips.

Six pack.

Arghhhh . Zone in Serana, Zone in.

"The teachers want legitimate tutoring requests. Half of those will be a dead ends." – Darien shrugged his shoulders, shrugging off the obviously bothersome popularity with the female gender as a hindrance. "Now", he continued with a charming grin, (wolf –thought Serena), "I know Amy doesn't need help but what about you two?"

Amy 's flattered response was so garbled it made virtually no sense, but Lita and Rei each signed enthusiastically, Rei cooed up Darien, "Well if these extra credits - gets you into Med school Darien, and you end up saving my life- Well I'm really just helping myself aren't I". Darien smiled with a flash of dimple, while Serena tried to keep her lunch down, good looking might be one thing but an egotistical, jerk was a deal breaker.

Rei moved to hand the clip board back to Darien, manoeuvring her fingers to fall under his. Smooth- thought Serena, rather impressive really. Suddenly Rei noticed Serena and tightened her hold on the clip board. "Omigod –Darien, we missed Serena."

"Oh no he didn't" thought Serena.

She felt Darien's eyes sweep over her with a sinking chill, her stomach sudden felt like it had fallen through the floor. Her hands twisted suddenly in the grass, seeking a life line. But she forced her eye brows up in what she hoped was nonchalant indifference.

So far that week, Darien had actively ignored Serena's presence, as he ignored the nagging voice whispering, "Why did you come over Darien? Did you really need two more signatures? "With a glance across the sitting Serena, Darien silently noted the mismatched socks.

The untied right shoe lace.

Her hair, in that ridiculous style was tangled and twisted.

Her face needed a scrub and her nails, God she chewed her nails.

He suddenly noted Serena's small hands and gone white from clutching the grass. "Grass stains to complement the ink marks on her grubby paws". With a deliberate coolness Darien took the clip board from Rei and turned back towards the school.

"Be realistic Rei, everything has its limits. And in Serena 's case there's no hope – she's a lost cause."

Although the sting was still very real, Serena still rallied a muttered, "I saw that one coming." And continued to study grass. Intently.

Rei's reaction, like a thunderclap was slightly delayed-but the threat of lightning followed quickly. One, One thousand, Two one thousand. Although the insult was one she herself had flung so carelessly at Serena not ten minutes earlier, this was different.

Nobody. Unless it was her. That is Nobody. Not even gorgeous -Boyfriend of the immediate future -Darien insulted Serena's intelligence.

With a sudden lunge Rei ripped the black clip board from under Darien's arm, snatched up her pen and slashed out her signature with such viciousness that the paper tore. Facing him straight on, daring him to contradict her, Rei wordlessly held the list over her shoulder to Lita, who followed suit without hesitation. Walking up to stand beside Rei, Lita-still silent, held out the newly amended clipboard to Darien, a cheerful if slightly manic smile on her face.

She was mentally collaborating potential Judo moves in her head.

Darien was rather stalled with surprise. He stared first at Rei, noting her barely repressed fury, moved over to Lita and flicked rather warily to Amy. Amy, however, was staring worriedly at Serena, but Serena was watching Lita and Rei with a smile that was so large and so real it seemed to engulf her face. She ignored him entirely. Without a word Darien took the extended clipboard, turned and walked back towards his friends.

Darien practically shook with rage. How dare they. What the Hell had just happened. He clasped the clip board so hard it bent with a slight keen. Grades were a reflection of effort. Everyone knew that stupid bimbo never tried, hell she couldn't even make it to school on time.

Amy's worried face sudden loomed in his mind. Amy, a junior, who was so sensitive to play down her own achievements, had looked stricken after his remark. Serena. God. He felt disgust rise in him as he suddenly as the anger –What had he just done? He, a senior, a naturally intelligent individual had actually laughed at another students, a juniors' academic difficulty, he had humiliated her. No –he had tried to humiliate her, her friends loyalty had shut him down. How pathetic could he get. And he wanted to be a doctor in ten years. Damn –he didn't like Serena. He didn't have to like her –but there was no excuse for what he had just done. He had to fix this. For his own conscious.

* * *

"Mandatory tutoring?" Serena repeated staring blankly at the letter in her hand. "Can tutoring be mandatory?"

"Of course not honey" , Serena's mum handed her the milk across the breakfast table, " –but its free, hosted by the school and your father and I simply can't afford a tutor, " her Mother paused, knife poised between the condiments and toast ,

' Oh , here it comes' , whispered the little voice in Serena's head, 'brace yourself".

"Honey, your grades could use a little help."

Serena flushed and bowed her head over her cereal –a direct hit. Serena's discomfort was like a stab. Her mother was torn between pushing Serena and protecting her- she chose the middle ground, "Oh honey, although everyone has different strengths – and you really aren't applying yourself as much as you can. But it doesn't hurt to try honey. No one can force you to make an effort – only you can Serena."

* * *

"Only you can Serena," Her mothers' words echoed through her head.

"Pack your bags where going on a guilt trip", – whispered Serena as she crossed the quadrangle and into the hushed hollows of the School library. "At least its air conditioned." Thought Serena as she tugged at her school blouse, even at three thirty in the afternoon the sticky heat had her light cotton blouse clinging to her back, her skirt alternately flapped and clung against the static on her legs.

"Great, day one –I'm late and I smell- Hellooo Tutor."

Serena was plunged into darkness as her eyes adjusted to the change in light. The foyer of the library was a cool, dark cave compared to the brightness of the afternoon outside. Squinting at the sweat smeared ink scrawled across her hand Serena located the necessary information – "Tutorial room 14 – three fifteen " Well if it's a girl she probably won't mind and if it's a geeky boy it doesn't matter "–and with this cheerful revelation Serena bounded up the stairs- down the hall, counting aloud as she skipped past, "ten, eleven" , through the door of room fourteen and slammed straight into Darien's chest.

"You? Tutor? Me? You?"

"I suppose, that would be a yes for grammar and sentence structure."

Serena's surprise and slightly bruised chin robbed her of any witty retort. Her confusion had rendered her completely mute. What the hell was going on She glanced quickly around the sparse room for witnesses; but with the exception of a single table , two chairs , and a small window, Darin's almost perfect text book pyramid and her own dog eared, ink stained sprawling equivalent –the room was empty. Was this a new game for Darien, some new evil amusement at her expense, some upperclass man prank , revenge for what happened last week with Lita in Rei.

Serena paused her head tilted to the side as she rubbed her nose and stared up at the annoyed senior. Darien may have been indifferent to her, said something cutting if she ever fell, literally-across his path, but he'd never actively tried to humiliate her. This was a little too complex, too elaborate for him when it came to her – she really didn't matter enough. Did she? – Darien's face gave nothing away but annoyance.

All summed up "I don't get it" was the not so intelligent remark she was capable of.

"What a surprise," Was the cool response.

Darien was annoyed- irritated; it was hot, Serena was late and he was beginning to regret this act of remorse and Serena had an unnerving way of simply staring at him, she should be blushing at least –the other girls always did, God even some of the female teachers from time to time. And she was a mess. Again.

" Your fifteen minutes late meatball head, clearly you don't take these sessions, your grades or other peoples time seriously. "

All confusion, retorts and her mental mad scramble to activate the Darien deflector shield were swept aside by genuine remorse. She was late –Darien or not, it was rude. "I am genuinely sorry for my lateness Darien, Miss Tamzaki asked me to carry her books to the car, as she hurt her arm on the weekend, really I don't mean to be late –even if it is you." Serena's frank apology and legitimate reason only managed to annoy Darien further, it was just to reasonable. Serena watched the furrow between Darien's brows deepen, God he was as sterner then the bloody school principal –when would he lighten up. When would an apology be enough –she had a good reason...this time at least, next might be a -hang on. Next time!

"Darien –What are you doing here?"

"As. I. Said. Before. Serena." Darien began, breaking down the sentence as if speaking to an infant- or a monkey," I'm your volunteer tutor for the next four weeks, every Tuesday and Thursday. You have been selected for the tutoring program and I was allocated to be your tutor. Darien stared down into Serena's face. He was enjoying her discomfort but he wasn't quite sure of its source –she usually had a little more bite to her, she was sincerely unnerved by the situation. Darien inexplicably was annoyed by her silence as he was by this stupid impulsive to start with, and pushed a little further –

"This wasn't my choice either meatball head –your grades will be a reflection on me also, and it's a pretty obvious outcome. This waste of time is hardly worth the extra credit"

Serena flinched. His tone flicked like a whip across exposed nerves –adults didn't even make her feel this stupid. Darien, her tutor! This would be a nightmare – he already made her feel ugly and worthless and they barely interacted. To give him ring side seats to her academic shortcomings, a upperclassmen already taking tertiary classes – it would be like, like, like – like giving your enemy bullets – supplied the little voice within. Exactly –thought Serena. Amy was incredibly smart and it never felt like this, this embarrassing sense of being stupid, of inadequacy. Being clumsy –even Rei didn't make her feel like this. Cruelty was a new motion to the Serena. She felt the as if someone had slammed a door shut within her and with each fading echo a coldness moved deeper into her.

Darien hadn't missed the flinch, or the internal debate that appeared to currently consume Serena. Serena had an expressive face – her thoughts projecting across her open honest features like a picture book, a child's picture book- derisively. Darien was surprised, he had always written Serena off as a loud, unprincipled and unladylike brat simply bellowing out every vapid thought that came into her head but right now he could see that she was mentally reviewing?, no debating the situation. The situation –What the hell was wrong with this ungrateful brat anyway –He, Darien Chiba, was personally offering to tutor her, pointless as it was, he had meant what he said to Rei about lost causes, and this lost cause was about to waste his time twice a week . And she was having second thoughts. What was there to debate – where was her gratitude, every girl in this school, and half the boys if scribbles on the toilet walls were to be believed, would kill to be in her position. Darien pulled out a chair with a deliberate sigh, gracefully lowering his long frame whilst hamming out an expression of hopelessness – he would see this through, regardless of personal opinion he had made a decision and it would be kept. This had nothing to do with the meatball head's feelings.

"Sit down Serena –We're already behind. Open your-"

"No Darien" quietly

Darien's head snapped up he stared across the table at Serena. The refusal was not completely unexpected, although for the most part he had convinced himself that Serena's antagonism towards him was based on juvenile insecurities, or social ineptitude perhaps even shyness (in fact he had given the topic more thought then he would ever acknowledge –even to himself) so her refusal was not unexpected. It was the quiet, expressionless tone that struck him. Serena, mad, impulsive, scattered, vibrant Serena had gone cold. Darien was stunned. Without a sound and avoiding his gaze, she picked up her tumbled pile of books and moved to the door, "No. No thank-you Darien. Good Bye."

Serena moved with decision, but Darien moved faster. Coming up behind her turned back, reaching past her head, Darien braced one large hand, fingers spread against the door and Serena stiffed visibly. She drew her books to her chest and hunching her shoulders.

"Let go Darien" still avoiding his face, " Right now. I'm not playing". Darien's physical proximity, his nearness shook her and she realised with a touch of fear just how much bigger then her he really was. "I said-' I 'm not playing Darien'."

"I know you're not Serena, but I would like a reason why you are about to walk out this session. I deserve that at least." Darien was surprised. He hadn't missed the body language, the defensive hunch, and earlier – the flinch. This meant to be a tutorial- what the hell had happened, first he rips into her, she acts as if he killed her cat – that flinch, why had she flinched? and now he was being physically intimidating – he was actually scaring her, he started to feel slightly nauseous.

Fuck, he lost control of the situation again. Darien lowered his hand down the wood and slowly, so slowly moved to her side, bringing his head down to her level, God she was small, he had never noticed – she attacked fearlessly. He ducked his head seeking her eyes, but she wouldn't look up, "Please Serena. Just one reason." He repeated gently. Serena gave him dead eyes,

"A reason. You want a reason? "

Slightly wary, he nodded.

"You make me feel stupid. Stupid and ugly-two reasons. Now –MOVE! "

There was a fraction of a pause, "Then that makes me a bad tutor." Serena glared up at him, " you think this is funny, you think I'm a joke don't you?"

"No", Darien broke in, "I mean it. I'm a bad tutor and bad senior and a bad role model. And let's face it, if I'm making a rabbit like you sad, well then I'm a pretty bad guy all round." By the end of this confession, Darien couldn't even meet her eyes. He leaned against the door, head down and staring into space. Serena was dumb founded – she watched the blush deepen across Darien's face, right up into the roots of his hair. He looked about twelve. He looked vulnerable. Whoa - back up Serena warned the little voice, this was Darien. Darien! As in cruel, egotistical, manipulative and so far out of her league that finding bigfoot under her bed was more likely. Suddenly the thought of Darien and her bed and it was Serena's turn to blush. Darien had become unnerved by Serena's silence, damn it –he'd just poured his heart out and the little ice queen hadn't said a word, he looked up in time to see Serena's face suffused in scarlet. Obviously she had gone into her little world again, but what earth did she do in there? "Why are you blushing - Odagana?"

"I am not a rabbit?" Flared up Serena, "that name is – well, its, its –"

"Condescending?" Supplied Darien, "Insulting? demeaning? Undermining? Subjective? "Reaching up to Serena's head and running his index finger over the profile created by the blonde tresses twisted pinned atop her small head."It's just a nickname Serena."

"Well some nicknames can be hurtful." Serena's legs had began to tremble, Darien was touching her. Not intrusively or intimidating, but gently. And his expression, it was different, incomprehensively so – his eyes moving quickly over her face looking for something, before holding her eyes straight on barely between their faces. Serena's palms had begun to sweat and she grasped her books until the bindings cut into palm. The pain shocked some reality into her, "You stupid walking dictionary," She muttered, ducking her head down and letting her fringe fall over her face. "Bloody thesaurus."

'"Stupid dictionary, huh? Rather an oxymoron don't you think? An oxymoron is a term that means –"

"I know what it means Darien,"muttered Serena bitterly.

Darien sighed gently, before leaning in closer, "There I go again huh? I didn't mean it – or the nicknames to be insulting."

Darien was perplexed. He had never meant to touch her. He had meant only to slow her down, stop her bolting through that door– like the frightened rabbit he called her. But he had the most surreal sensation of being enveloped in an odd sense of calm by Serena, the 'human whirlwind'. As soon as he had touched her, she had frozen like a deer in head lights, and as soon as he had made eye contact she had dropped her gaze and stared off past his left arm, but she hadn't pulled away. She hadn't even moved her head, oh her eyes had broken from his – but she had kept her head perfectly still. Darien wasn't sure what she wanted, he knew what he wanted to do – but she gave no encouragement, but she wasn't pulling away either so no discouragement – what the hell did he do? Most girls, yeah he could've figured out pretty quickly, but this was Serena. Serena. She wasn't most girls. Why the hell wouldn't she even look at him?

Serena was having her own difficulties, breathing being one of them. Darien's gentle touch had completely unnerved her. Her experience with boys was limited to comic books, Lita's vast if short lived repertoire of relationships and daily interaction with Andrew at Arcade-strictly off limits due to long term girl friend. She really didn't have any defences against a guy like Darien, except his nasty personality. A nasty personality which seemed to be a.w.o.l. right now –just when she needed it the most. She was uncomfortable, but she didn't want the touch to stop. Why was he being so gentle? Why was he even touching her? God, what was she doing? Pull away! Stamp on his foot! Tell him to go to hell and tutor someone else for his extra credits.

Why the hell did it have to be her?

What -was it a point system?

Was she the equivalent of three other students –some sort of difficulty ratio?

Darien watched Serena's thoughts scroll across the open book that was her face; fear, hesitation, suspicion, confusion. He twisted his finger into the free flowing pigtail, winding the strands gently like a band of liquid gold, he watched Serena face, still refusing to meet his eyes, lean into his touch slightly, oh so slightly. Darien felt something tighten low in stomach. He had to focus. He released the strand watching the curl hold even after released. He touched her chin gently, a minute tap before withdrawing his hand.

"Give me a chance to help your grades Serena, if in three weeks you're not convinced –then I will find you a substitute myself." A girl substitute – he almost added. What the hell? Where did that come from?

Serena pulled back and searched his face, a small part of her noting the loss of his hand in her hair. She searched Darien's face – suspicions died hard especially after three years of cruel high school politics.

"Why?"

Darien raised an eyebrow and Serena rushed on, " I mean - why me? I answered your question, now answer mine? Is there some sort of ranking system and you get extra credit cause I high up there on the 'lost cause scale'?"

Serena threw his words at him – and he knew he deserved it, but Serena wasn't finished yet, "Maybe I some sort of time saver option, you can either have three standard students or one giant lost cause – bit of a gamble isn't Darien? I mean my guaranteed failures being a reflection on you and all- Mr future MD. "

Darien couldn't help smiling, she could certainly play with words – he twisted himself so his shoulders could rest completely against the door – and they could see each other straight on. Almost as wide as the door –thought Serena, when did he get so much bigger than me? Darien grabbed Serena by her right shoulder with one hand and began to count down between them on the other.

"You make an excellent point Serena, so – here is my answer, actually let's make that answers- plural. One – It's 'you' "he emphasised the word with a nod in her direction," 'you', cause I chose you. Two –I would like to make up for my unacceptable behaviour the other day," Serena opened her mouth but Darien silenced her with a wave of the two raised fingers, "Three –I think you can teach me to be a better tutor, and four, well you are not going to like this but," Serena gave him a suspicious look, "but – I called your Mother and told her."

"You didn't"

"I did. She is a very nice lady. You're very lucky."

Serena twisted her shoulder free and hissed, "That's blackmail."

"Maybe," Shrugged Darien, "but I needed a little help. I knew a little intervention would get you here today. Although I honestly didn't think it would be this hard. Three weeks Serena. "Darien leant forward foreheads almost touching, and he watched her assume the now familiar "deer in head light' stance.

"Three weeks" he coaxed, "And we don't even need to tell your Mum." Serena stared at him –this was blackmail, but at the same time Darien was compromising not to mention being playful. And 'let's face it', whispered that little voice, 'you like this. You like being here with him, even if it's just a little.' It was useless to resist –he was the Darien Chiba after all – Rei and Lita were absolutely gaga for him and even shy little Amy was not completely immune to his charms. Heck who was she to resist. Darien playful? And with her? Who would have thought it? Still she couldn't help feeling suspicious, she faced him straight, brows lowered and only flinched the smallest fraction when he dropped his face closer–"If this is some kind of elaborate trick Darien –I will take. You. Down."

"Your mums involved Serena, no tricks. I swear. Three Weeks? Deal?"

Serena hovered still," Two."

"Three."

"Two" She insisted.

"Fine," conceded in Darien, pulling back and throwing out his hands "Two weeks – but, with three sessions a week."

Serena barely blinked. Hang on ...

" I might not be smart but that's still six sessions."

Darien grabbed both of Serena's shoulders and shook gently, "You not dumb Serena. And it's this or I'm popping over to your parents. Take it or leave it."

"Low blow Darien –resorting to blatant fear tactics and blackmail. I expected a little more from you. Honestly, I'm slightly disappointed," replied Serena with a derisive snort, " and what do you mean I'm not dumb?'

"Serena", Began Darien still smirking appreciate her last insult, "One. Don't snort, you're not a piglet. And two, there isn't a girl on this whole campus willingly to go head to toe with me, and this from a girl scared of thunder storms. And yet you bite my head off without hesitation and to my knowledge pretty creatively. You haven't used the same insult twice yet and we've known each other for three years. So that's full points for creativity and impromptu. As I recall, you referred to me as a 'tea cup toy poodle' yesterday." Serena had the grace to blush, it was a little difficult to keep her composure when Darien was still holding her by the shoulders, and his face was so close she could see the lightest shadow of childhood freckles across his nose. He smelt like spearmint gum and coffee. And he was smiling – she had insulted him and he was smiling. "While on the subject, I would love to know, regarding the reference, may I ask the context?" Darien asked lightly releasing her shoulders and leaning back against the door. Serena choked back a laugh and shook her head backing away until she hit the table top and leaned against it. She unsuccessfully tried to suppress but the smile broke over her face as she remembered the conversation –how had he found out about it? How had he even heard her? Why did he even care?

Once again, Darien felt his stomach-and slightly lower if he was honest, tighten as Serena smiled up at him. For the first time her unrestrained smile was actually directed at him, oh yes he knew that recalling her insult was the cause, but still – she was smiling with him. He wondered if she realised how much he was touching her, her shoulders, her hair even his legs had brushed hers repeatedly and deliberately. He had done it intentionally – or not completely intentional. But the sudden smile wiped away his own excuses to himself.

Face it Darien, whispered the little voice –you wanted her attention. You wanted klutzy, meatball head Serena to notice you.

Darien realised that he had been silent a little too long sorting his thoughts out. "Come on while we're being honest. Please? Why a 'poodle'." Serena grinned, Darien had been said 'please', again. To her. She liked it. She let go of her books with right hand and reached up the gently flick Darien's hair. "One of the girls was saying how perfect your hair was all the time and I replied –'like a poodle, a toy cup poodle, all primped, coiffed and curled.'" Serena realised the insult as she finished relating the story and tentatively withdrew her hand waiting for his anger. But he was smiling. As far as insults went it was pretty mild, but it was Serena's hand in his hair that he wanted. "Nah –", He bumped her forehead against her still upraised palm, "I'm naturally this good looking, - unlike some. Is that why you're always late every single morning meatball head". Serena, instinctively stuck out her tongue, she couldn't even pretend to be annoyed at the comparison, although she did manage to roll her eyes at his inflated sense of god granted attractiveness. "Oh -Bite me Fabio ".

Suddenly the school bell peeled five times, Serena shrieked, " Its already been an hour and a half? Omigod Darian I have to get home. Is it okay if we catch up on this on, Fine – you win. three times a week. Two weeks. Let's make it Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Can we go through this tomorrow, i need to get home to my Mom I promised to help with dinner? Darien? Hey Darien. Tomorrow.? Three Fifteen,?

Darien nodded. " Tomorrow, three fifteen. I'll book in this room again. Don't be late. "With a flash of smile part sneer part smirk at the late reference -and she was gone. Two pigtails streaming behind her like twin comets Serena pelted through the strictly no running building. Darien sprawled into the chair, rubbed his eyes and then brought his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. Serena had no idea what images she just caused to flash through his head with her instinctive, "bite me,". Darien groaned faintly, pinching the bridge. A sudden image of Serena writhing against his not to gentle mouth brought his already semi tumulanscent member, hard, and painfully against the zipper of his school uniform.

So that's it.

Time to stop fooling yourself.

You wanted the little klutz from day one.

And she had simply left without a stupid giggle, or writing her number on his hand. Could she be that clueless. Maybe she just doesn't want you. Maybe there's someone else.

Damn he thought. It was quiet without her.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own the following characters it all belongs to Sailor Moon. Sort of.

Chapter Two

She had been on time.

He hadn't counted on that. In fact, he had been relying on the exact opposite; he had counted on her being late. He had needed her to be late. He needed a reason, justification, because he was being a bastard.

And she'd been on time.

She had even been waiting outside the door before he got there. Leaning against the wall as he had turned the corner. Leaning against the wall with that bloody unguarded smile on her face.

Now he needed a new reason to be a bastard.

Darian barely acknowledged Serana as he shifted his books to his right hip and let them into tutorial room, gesturing her before him. He settled opposite her – he watched her crawl onto her seat, curling one leg under her, sprawling her books and snagging her uniform, so effortlessly chaotic.

Twice he had tried to imagine someone else; twice he had created the perfect little scenario in his head. Twice he had imagined the most possible polar opposite, brunette, sleazy, rough. And twice her fucking face, her form, and her smile had appeared – her hair twisted around his fist, her throat exposed. Twice she had done what his mind had wanted from her, willingly, thankful, grateful. And twice she had taken his control from him, hard and fast – leaving an unnerving sense of incompleteness behind, an echo of the satisfaction. He had practically cracked the bathroom tiles, slamming his fist in frustration as the shower washed her control of him, over his palm, through his fingers and down the sink.

And there she was, leaning against the wall, on time.

Serena was proud of herself. She had beaten him. A small part of her knew that being on time was a simple expectation and not exactly an achievement, but hey – for her; baby steps, baby steps. She knew it wasn't a race and she by passed the bathroom to get here before him. Maybe not such good idea – but sometimes, she told herself, you had to sacrifice a few battles to win the war. Although...she squirmed slightly, the tell tale pressure low down in her abdomen was tapping quietly in the back ground – inviting itself over for tea.

Still-stupidly proud of herself. "With emphasis on the stupid", hissed her self-deprecating imp reliable as always-piping up, Serena banished the imp with a shake of her head. People might fondly refer to her as 'slightly unhinged' but she doubted Darian would find the whole 'voice in my head' component of her personality ...cute. The girls Darian dated owned genetically modified dogs, unable to support their own bubble sized heads on dwarfed bodies and flinging further insult after inbred torture, inflicting with names, Flufflyblossom and Sunnydaisymoonbeam. Not that she cared what Darian thought when others where around. Just when it was them. Alone. God She was nervous.

She readjusted her seat and dragged one leg across the other effectively clamping down on the insistent issue, "don't focus on it, don't focus on it," the silent mantra tapped a tempo along with her pen. Focus on Him. Not as a Him – Focus on your tutor. Focus on your tutor. Focus on Darian – what was his problem anyway?

Had the playful; door blocking, hair pulling Darian from yesterday been a personal work of fiction. This cranky, intimidating jerk was the Darian she knew and loathed. What was it? Low blood sugar? Split personality?

The familiar thread of insecurity was getting stronger, trending on soft steps on the outskirts of her confidence, as they sat across from each other – without obvious purpose, in a pre arranged tutorial, in the school library. Was it always going to be this hectic? The sudden transverse from the afternoon swealt outside to the overzealous air-conditioning within the library caused the fine hairs of her neck to stand to attention, "if it walks like a premonition, and it quacks like a premonition ..." – hissed her infallible imp?

"Duck".

"What?"

" Ahh – Nothings," Serena, hastily pushing a sheet of paper across the table to Darian, raising slightly off her chair to lean her weight on one arm and directing his attention to the far left corner with a tapping finger.

Darian stared down at a rather detailed sheet slightly thrown by Serena's sudden action. "The first column is the subjects I am currently studying, the second column is the grade I currently hold in the subject and the third column are the points I need most help or focus with per subject." She settled back down, "Oh, and the subjects are listed from top to bottom from favourite to most despised." She threw in.

Darian had not moved, he scanned down the list, the letter 'C' featured with fearsome repetition in the second column. "Not much surprise there", with a soft snort. The third column was however, surprisingly detailed and decidedly helpful; he had planned at least two tutorials dedicated to identifying her weaknesses.

Efficient; detailed, analytical.

Amy.

"This is good, Serena. I mean it. Really well planned."Darian murmured, tracing his finger across the columns, "really detailed and well presented."

Serena felt a fission of unselfconscious pride swell over her initial anxious trepidation. A small smile slipped in the immediate with the intended direction of Darian's bent head. That chart had been quite soul destroying in its honesty. Having her grades splayed out before her and a detailed list of her short comings was not something she was proud of and to acknowledge her problems and laziness and move through them. The Chart, and its purpose, was tangible proof that she was willing to try- that she was trying.

"So what was exact approach, Serena? I'm curious." Darian lounged back suddenly sweeping a knowingly look across Serena, he drew his lips across his teeth, the artificial smile practiced successfully on numerous conquests and silent mirrors and tapped his pen against very white teeth.

Serena hated that smirk. The wolf smirk. Why was he wearing the wolf smirk.

"What do you mean-approach? I don't understand the question Darian."

Feeling ruthless and vindicated Darian ignored the "honest" confusion on Serena's face. 'Not bad', thought Darian, moving back over the sheets, 'but I've seen better.'

"Did you threaten or bribe Amy for this Meatball head?"Coolly, without looking up from the paper and with a precise, clinical hand Darian began noting down some of the suggested help points in his own notebook.

Amy? Amy...Amy. The implication sank through her. Her mouth suddenly tasted like sand and her stomach churned chilled concrete. And, damn it, that hot prickle across her eyes – the hurt came easy, but she almost had to scrabble for the anger – her natural defensive mechanism was a little slower. She had let her guard down, The Darian deflector shield; a few 'not-so-harsh' words, the few tugs of a pigtails and the pleasant invasion of personal space and BAM. She was a sitting Duck.

A sitting duck that needed the bathroom.

And that right there was a good enough reason as any to call it quits. She'd been played.

'I should be proud of myself,' thought Serena, tilting her head to stare and Darians, still self righteously bent over her sheet, 'I could sit here and take this, just to bask in the presence of an attractive bastard. I could just keep sitting here- if I was that spineless, that pathetic,'

"But I Won't."

Darian jerked his head up, confused "What? You won't 'What' ".

Serena grabbed her books, moving fast, she had already gotten a head start, and she knew his reflexes and shift-hopped up from her seat and walked to the door.

What had she said, 'won't what?' , and where the hell was she going?

"Serena- "irritably, "What are you" – Darian quickly rose, but dropped his voice as she opened the door onto the hallway. "Serena," He hissed, "Not again."

Serena leaned sideways inside the door frame, his face has gone white again, she noticed thoughtfully, with splotches. And before the imp could be stilted. "Not a poker player then".

"Poker? Poker! Serena. Sit. Down. Now. We've only just started."

"No, we're finished. You asked for one chance Darian. One chance and it took you all of oh I say", – Serena, shifted her books to dramatically consulted her watch, "thirteen minutes to lose it."

Darian scowled. What was she jabbering on about, Bloody hysterical female.

"Shut the door and Sit. Down. "He hissed.

Serena was intimidated - Darian was...threatening, menacing – taller, stronger, white faced and clenched fists- "how fucking dare he", - hissed the imp, "how dare he lose his temper. How dare he try and stand you down – like a little boy told 'no''. And something funny in the face of so much white anger, saved her from total melt down. She was still intimidated, but she would die first rather than show him anything but this fabricated disregard. Because, because; she stuttered against the painful truth - because beneath the anger, beneath the fear, it hurt. God it was starting to hurt. She had tried, really tried. And he had hurt her. Again.

Fuck it. " Let him see it," Serena thought, "and if he's even part human he might feel something."And she did, she gave into the burn behind her eye lids and she let the tears come, let them slip down. She let her shoulders slump and the door frame catch her, she dug she hugged her books painfully, a solid angular comfort – an anchor, and stared into his face.

The tears stilled him, for a moment, just a moment something inside him tried to reason. Tears, he had made her cry again; but he heard muffled whispers in the hall and the thought of an audience outweighed that reasoning that was telling him to stop and think. "Serena. Come inside. People are listening. Look, stop being stupid-now!" the last was hissed with venom.

Serena gave up, she was crying and he was worried about what other people thought. It was no request, no concern. It was a demand. Give up. Give up and go. "Go ahead Darian, call my Mother. Tell her what happened here. Tell her the details; go ahead and call my mother and tell her why I walked out. "

Darian started from the desk but stopped in the doorway, unwilling to take this 'scene', this 'embarrassment' into the hall, but Serena was already walking out into the library, turning to see Darian pale and livid in the doorway,

"Did you know Darian, sometimes you can look really ugly."

And Serena walked away.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own the following characters it all belongs to Sailor Moon. Sort of.

Chapter 3

* * *

'Walk. Don't run, walk, Slow. Walk; and Breathe, don't forget to breathe ,breathe. And don't fall apart. Oh God, Oh God. don't even think THE words. Stupid Serena. Stupid. Don't think THOSE words.'

Serena's disjointed stride staggered at the last thoughts, but continued onward desperately trying to move as fast as she could through the hushed hallways and booked lined columns to the girls' restroom on the second storey. Every shelf ended with a private study cubicle and each one was occupied by a student; bent studiously over texts, tapping essays into laptops, madly text messaging under the pretext of study – and Serena was apart to fall apart, loudly. A soggy, sodden mess disintegrating somewhere in the modern history section.

She was shaking.

Contrary to popular belief, Serena didn't always like to be the centre of attention. This was one of those moments.

Just a few more feet. Just a few more feet.

Breathe, walk, breathe, walk –Don't run. Slow and Steady Think about rocks think about turtles, think about rocks, turtles. Strong, steady, slow; almost there, almost there. With a barely repressed sob Serena Flung herself through the door and into the fluorescent lit haven.

The binder snapped beneath his hands, the cheap plastic leaving a shallow cut his palm. She wasn't in the hallway.

Ugly.

Stupid; useless, lying Girl – Did she really think he wouldn't have picked up on it, or that she would improve by lying at the first tutorial, passing off Amy's work as her own.

Ugly.

He was done with her. No, Darien promised staring down at his stinging hand-he would humiliate her and Then he would be done with the ungrateful, selfish useless little-

A nervous knock rapped on the wood of the open door, train of thought broken Darien's head shot up. A nervous Senior standing apprehensively on the threshold started back into the hall at Darien's furious face. " Ahh, um-we ahh, um ", He began-his stutter more pronounced under Darien's focus," Is everything Okay here? I mean we, um, we ,"

"Everything is fine thank-you. Just practicing some scenes for Drama club," Darien's cool response, belied the white face, but Darien quickly bought some time poiling up his texts books. When he looked up a mask of pleasant urbane boredom had slipped over, he even mustered up enough control to throw smirk and a wink to the two girls hovering in the hallway behind the nervous boy-the rest of the study group? The giggle and twitter that followed was so expected it was practically standard issue.

How much had they heard ? ...Ugly.

Darien gathered his books swiftly, keeping the scratched palm covered and moved smoothly to the entrance. He deliberately hovered over the smaller senior. "Hope we didn't disturb you?" Although posed as a question the tone was anything but conciliating, the boy gulped loudly and sizing up Darien's width and a sudden lack of personal space.

"Um, ah, um-no,no, no. We,we –we were done."

Darien had purposely moved on before the boy had even composed a reply -intentional, childish but a definite display of Alpha. Moving closer to the hovering girls and despite the more than adequate hallway, deliberately let his hip brush against the closest.

"Sorry"

"Don't mention it." Chirped reply.

He wouldn't, she was already forgotten- and if asked tomorrow he wouldn't have even been able to recall her hair color. Feeling validated and somewhat soothed he turned back to clap the smaller senior on the shoulder, "Sorry about noise mate, really."

"Oh,uh –oh .all good,d. Ahh"

Feeling his good guy character reestablished Darien went to move on, shifting his books to his hip and making his way through the three students towards the exit; but not before seeing a pair of serious eyes behind serious spectacles staring thoughtfully at him and then down at his hand. The second girl had moved up between her friends. Darien shot her a parting smile but didn't stop to register the reaction. It was a foregone conclusion. He hadn't made it too far down the hall when the natural acoustics carried their voices after him. It wasn't hard to pick who owned the deliberately affected high twang.

"Omigod –THAT was DARIEN SHEILDS. And he DELIBERATLEY bumped into me. Do you think I have a chance Christine?"

"I don't think you should Bella."

"Why not?"

"That girl, the one that ran out –she was crying her heart out and she wasn't acting."

"So?"

"Well... He was smiling..."

Darien's barely checked rage seethed over his recently established cool , only his control kept his pace slow and his hands loose, although the itched to clench-preferably around her neck. He would humiliate her.

Ugly.

* * *

Serena Flung herself in the girls' bathroom. The practicalities of the facility a relief as much as a haven. The current deserted state an even more welcome relief. Serena vigorously splashed cold water across her heated swollen face, running into her hairline and down into her collar. With a sigh she critically looked over the end result. Soggy, puffy, blotchy...soaking wet -Serena was not a delicate crier - not even her closest friends could say that Serena was a pretty crier, she heaved and sobbed like, " A wounded water buffalo" if she recollected one of Rei's more Flattering comparisons. If she moved quickly and kept her head down, pulled her hair forward she could probably make it out of the library and off school grounds without too much comment.

Unfortunately the mascara, a pathetic, redundant attempt for Darien's sake, had run and smudged raccooning her bleary eyes and forging unflattering tracks down her cheeks. With a sigh she grabbed some extra toilet paper harsh and scratchy, dabbed with industrial strength cleanser and set to work scrubbing off the most obvious tracks of smudged black to a less discernable shadow.

'Awesome,' quirked the imp, 'an extra from 'Night of the Living Dead'; really Serena- crying in toilet because of a boy. How cliché.' She huffed self derisively before turning to throw the sodden mess into the loo she'd just vacated. She stared at the unflattering reflection "Promise yourself-PROMISE yourself this will never happen again. Promise yourself you will never cry in a public toilet again talking to yourself like a mad person...promise. Can't, can you?" Serena's reflection stared back unconvinced, "Right – meet me halfway. Next time –Waterproof mascara." Her reflection just nodded sympathetically but didn't provide any for fruits of wisdom.

"I should just pack it in a fall down a rabbit hole-I bet I would fit in real well at that particular tea party.

Her ribs hurt from the wracking sobs she muffled in the cubicle.

What had just happened? Why? Just... why?

Did he really see her as that; useless, lazy, dumb? Was this her fault – was this how people generally and genuinely saw her? And Amy-did he really think she would take advantage of gentle Amy like that. It had taken weeks, months to get through to Amy .Amy that basically written herself off as a walking encyclopedia and had no grasp of her real social value; her friendship, her loyalty, sweetness, humor, quirkiness. Sometimes Serena couldn't fathom why Amy would even bother with her. In her darkest moments Serena questioned if her friends really liked her. She chalked it down to hormonal hysteria and low blood sugar, but sometimes, it crept up on her and she wondered, maybe just for a moment - if her friends really liked her, or did they simply tolerate her. The schools token special needs case. Did they all sit around and secretly wish she'd just disappear. Dumb, boy inept, lunch consuming -late. Dumb.

That was the defining factor, Serena's eyes closed, shoulders slumped, hands clenching against the soaking bench –bracing against the pain. When you're smart you can contribute. Study groups, respect, tutoring, homework advice. How far was the quirky, funny friend going to get?

Darien, Amy, Rei; even her little brother Sammy – they just got things, things just made sense.

Her eyes began to itch as she felt her chin quiver. Didn't he get it ? Wasn't he supposed to get it? Sometimes it just wasn't as easy for her to be as smart as them - didn't she hear it enough? Didn't she always get compared and measured up against other people enough. And when she did something herself – it was automatically doubted. She had just wanted a moment of help, no judging, no comparing, no questions. Just help. That spreadsheet had taken hours.

Like I don't know it. Like I don't know it ever bloody day.

I'm not quite enough.

Not smart enough.

Not good enough.

She felt her face begin to crumble - Fuck. She was practically encouraging a meltdown, talking herself into a breakdown!

"Oh -God, get a hold of yourself Serena, a meltdown in the library toilet. The right is reserved strictly for students with a B average – minimum."

Enough.

Mantra- Breathe, Breathe, breathe. Turtle. turtle. .

Serena opened her eyes. She was exhausted, hot and achy-in the way only an over long cry can leave you.

Home. . and at some point explain to her mother not only had she quit her complimentary tutorials but she had also managed to insult one of the most prominent school seniors in the process.

A senior that had apparently spoken to her personally.

Oh Fuck.

Breathe, Breathe, breathe. Turtle. turtle. .

The energetic splashing had turned the bench into a shallow pond, sending tsunami 's over the bench top - grabbed her sodden books from the bottom of the pile against her chest Serena turned and pushing the door with her back tripping out into the hall and directly onto another student.

"Turtle!"


	4. Chapter 4

Against Reason: I do not own Sailor moon or its characters.

CHAPTER 4: The Real Chapter 4

Dedicated to Claire.

* * *

Whompf -

"Oh excuse me," Exclaimed a gentle voice apologetically, "I really didn't mean to – Serena!"

Amy pulled back to find herself clutching and being clutched in return by a very sodden and ink splattered Serena. Amy's natural shock at suddenly finding herself holding a healthy armful of reeling, off centred Serena was compounded by the sheer fact that this armful included books. School books! And the whole thing was occurring in a library. The School Library! She almost expected the twilight theme to round off the surreal moment. She gave soft laugh at the nonsensical thought as she recovered her breath and redistributed her damp armful, trying to avoid Serena's booky load or snaring on Serena's braids that currently looped from the hanging head. Beyond the initial impact of the collision, Amy became very, very aware of being engulfed by the distinctive smell of soap, or perhaps hand wash – in very large quantities ;the harsh nasal burn of antiseptic not quite concealed by the artificial floral undertones.

"Serena, are you okay? Why are you all wet? Did I knock the wind out of you? Serena? Serena?"

The lack of response caused Amy some concern, fearing she may have been hurt in the collision, perhaps on the door, the books or Amy herself. Ducking her head to see beneath the mass of hair, looking in all honesty- a little worse for wear then usual, she met with no success. Why was Serena so damp? But then again, thought Amy wryly – with Serena, anything was possible. No doubt Amy was about to hear a good story, completely disproportioned and exaggerated, but highly entertaining nevertheless. With another gentle smile Amy managed to brush the wet tendrils back from Serena's face and gently pulled the girls hanging face upward. She felt her own smile slide quickly south as she took in a pair of sad eyes, bloodshot and downcast, cushioned by puffy, splotched skin. In fact her face was puffy all over-a sign, Amy concluded, of prolonged crying. The small woebegone face hiccupped pathetically and hunched back into itself, attempting to twist away from Amy and ducking her face into her own shoulder, with a wet snuffle. Now a crying, puffy Serena was not unknown to Amy, anything from a dropping a donut to losing a video game could bring on the wailing of a banshee – However a quiet, puffy, red eyed Serena was almost unprecedented.

"Serena?"

Unusual.

"Serena are you okay?"

Unnatural.

"Serena what happened?"

Disturbing. And increasing worrying.

Serena gave a soggy snuffle and murmured wetly into her shoulder.

"Serena, what was that?"

"mhmema – Turtle-mhaanfd ."

Familiar territory.

Gently pulling Serena's face from the damp shoulder nook, Amy realised that what she had first mistaken for ink stains was actually streaks of mascara. Everywhere. It was almost impressive. She mentally added water proof mascara to Serena's Christmas present before refocusing on the situation at hand, or in arm – to be more precise. And Amy was nothing if not precise.

"What has happened Serena?"

"Nothing."

Amy silently wrapped the her arms around Serena, books and all – although one jarred rather unpleasantly into lower rib and rubbed, what she hoped, were soothing circular motions on Serena's back. Usually when Serena felt wronged, justified or not, greater Tokyo knew about it. The fact that her generally extroverted friend was being uncharacteristically obtuse and quiet, was ringing alarm bells in Amy's intelligent mind. It didn't take a genius to know that Serena's loud nature was a defence mechanism; but in general her positive outlook on life and her simple joy in simply living made her as exuberant as a Labrador puppy, but Amy knew when Serena felt something, it ran silent and deep. She was quietly inconsolable for months when her grandmother passed away, but you didn't see it unless you knew what you were looking for. Oh she laughed as loud as ever, consumed more ice cream and related dairy products at her usual unhealthy rate and fought even more zealously with Rei. However the smudged shadows under her eyes and the sudden and unexpected drifts into a quiet away-ness despite being physically present hovered for almost eight months. Quiet Serena was a Serena to be handled with care. Something had happened, but getting Serena to tell – well clearly this was not a dropped chocolate doughnut situation. Still, maybe humour...

"Serena," began Amy, "Was there a turtle involved?"

The vibrations of a watery, soggy snort at Amy's deliberate ridiculousness was a positive start. "Well you can hardly blame me, it's a natural conclusion to reach as you are rather soggy and I do believe they are a species inclined to water based environments."Pulling away from her friend Amy managed direct eye contact for the first time, and even noted the beginnings slightly rueful grin on the splotched face.

"I hope you haven't been fighting with one – as they are an endangered species you know."

Serena wiped her wrist across her running nose, appreciating Amy's attempt to cheer her up.

"I myself happen to like turtles-I find them rather quirky."

"Ammmmmy." Came the watery, snuffled protest as the rueful grin expanded. Okay, thought Serena, the Turtle component of the conversation was officially exhausted. Amy shook her head with smile and shrugged her shoulders, recognising that the topic had served its purpose and moved on. Perhaps it was safe to move on.

"Serena, what are you doing in the library? Were you looking for me?"

The wrong thing to say, realised Amy immediately, the absolutely wrong thing to say. She watched the small smile slide off Serena's face, and her body stiffen and pull away.

"Serena?"

""Because what would I be doing in the Library right? Unless, I was looking for you?"

Amy pulled back, stunned at the bleakness of Serena's tone and the quite aggression of her words. The books, the tears, the blood shot eyes, her expression. For Serena it was too much, following so closely on Darien's words.

Serena turned away, at war with herself, part hurt at Amy's unsaid and most likely unintentional jab; partly angry with herself for speaking to gentle Amy so. "Sorry Amy, but I have to go, my books are wet." She wasn't to blame for what Darien had said. Amy lunged.

"Serena! Stop! "

Tugging her friends arm, she linked her own, elbow to elbow with Serena and quickly slid the three topmost textbooks from Serena's hands into her own, clasping them to her outmost hip. "I will come help you lay them out in the sun for a bit. A little sunbaking will set them straight – well maybe there will be a wrinkle or too, but nothing catastrophic." Deftly angling them towards the main entrance and down the hall.

"No really Amy, I'm fine – I need to get home, I'm running late and I don't want to disturb your study schedule." Serena realised as she was pulled along that, due to Amy's machinations, they were thoroughly entangled, not to mention her books seemed to be being held hostage on Amy's hip. Freedom at this point would cause a scene and she was already feeling self conscious of the echoing tap their feet made through the hushed entrance hall.

"Serena –When am I NOT studying." Emphasised Amy, "Besides- I needed a break and that's what I was my way too before our serendipitous collision. It was meant to be. Who are we to argue with the universe? " Actually she had been on her way to the card catalogue, but Serena wasn't to know that. Taking in Amy's lack of book, pen or paper she reluctantly capitulated, allowing herself to be dragged out into the now cooler afternoon.

Uncharacteristically assertive, Amy pulled Serena over to the grass lawn, plonking down and dragging Serena down with her. Once seated she spread the books about them flipping them open to the warm sunshine. Then turning to her quiet friend she man handled Serena backward before reaching into the tangled hair. "Have you got a comb on you?"Serena silently rummaged through her pencil case before pulling out a comb, passing it back into Amy's waiting hand. Crossing her legs and began, almost unconsciously, to pull at the blades of grass. Amy undid the plaits and began combing through the tangles. Murmuring an apology as the comb caught and snagged on the odd knot.

"I'm sorry Amy."

"Don't be. I'm the one who should be sorry."

Amy paused the combing and rested her hands on Serena's shoulders.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?"

Serena continued to look down and simply shook her bent head.

"Okay then." Amy sat back and continued combing before dividing the blonde mass into two sections. Maybe she could and should somehow find some of the others; Rei, Lita and Mina, but trusting an inner instinct, Amy had a feeling that Serena needed just one person right now – the quieter the better.

"Serena, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to – but you can listen. You're my best friend Serena and you mean more to me then books and study, you have to remember that." Amy felt Serena grow still under her hands, but she continued talking as she twisted the plaits back to their original arrangement. "Your allowed to cry alone sometimes Serena, everyone's entitled to be sad sometimes. But if I see you suffering needlessly, I will step in and make an executive decision. Okay?" Amy finished the twists, and gently turned Serena's shoulders around, leaning also and meeting her halfway.

"Okay Serena?" She repeated with a gentle shake.

"Okay Amy."

Amy moved to sit next to Serena, smiling a small triumphant smile when her friend rested her head against her shoulder. "Amy?"

"Yes?"

"Sometimes when you want something to change, you have to make it change. Don't you?"

"Yes, I guess."

The two friends sat quietly, side by side in the warm sun. After a short while Serena gave a sigh, and moved to stand.

"I better go, I was blubbering in that toilet longer then I thought. You want to walk home together?"

"I wish I could Serena, but I volunteered to tutor someone in Calculus, that's why I'm still here." Although Serena had turned away from Amy, it wasn't before Amy saw a shadow cross Serena's face and the tell tale stiffening of the leg pressed against her own. Amy quickly ran the sentence through her head looking for the trigger.

"That's okay." Serena pulled herself up, turning and offering Amy her hand and hauling her smaller friend up with a yank. "I better run, I am really, really late." Amy brushed herself down, still looking closely at her friend while they both leaned down to gather the books. Once piled back into Serena's arms, Serena looked shyly back at Amy.

"Thanks Amy."

"Don't mention it, I always enjoy discussing turtles." Serena laughed as she leaned in and gave Amy an awkward, book laden hug before turning back to the main walk and heading home. She turned back halfway down, and gave a little half wave half book wobble to her watching friend before passing through the main gates. Amy watched her till she passed beyond the wall and was lost to her sight, before turning back to the library. What had set Serena off so badly? The self doubt had been gnawing so loudly you could practically hear it swallow. Passing through the main foyer and back to her study area, Amy chanced to glance at the notice board and a prominent blue poster caught her eye. It read in stark black marker pen.

SENIOR TUTORIAL PROGRAM: SIGN UP NOW.

Suddenly last weeks scene between Darien, Serena, Rei and Lita suddenly flooded to Amy. The expression on Serena's face. The same one she had seen outside the bathroom , the same expression when Darien had joked at Serena's intelligence. The bathroom refuge; the books, the tears, the bloodshot eyes- that expression. Amy frowned to herself as she moved through the book stacks, thinking it all through.

Serena hurried home, pushing the garden gate heavily with one hip as she tried to scrabble for her house key without setting her books down. Success! Moving into the front hallway, she kicked the door shut with a foot and toed off her school shoes before padding in socked feet towards the stairs.

"Honey – Is that you?"

"Well its one of us, lucky for you or you just called a burglar 'Honey'."

Her mum came out of the study, glasses perched on her nose and a stack of papers in one hand a high lighter clasped in the other. " Very lucky for me then. Serena, how did your first tutorial go? "

Realising she had been expertly ambushed Serena turned back from the staircase, her intended route of escape to the haven that was her bedroom and faced her mother. "You might have mentioned you had actually spoken to my 'tutor' Mum." She couldn't help the accusation slipped from her mouth. Smiling gently, her mother leaned against the doorway and studied her oldest child. Serena was grateful for the long walk home, the ravages of crying had mostly subsided and any redness she could blame on the sun. "I have heard you talk about him, about Darien, before Serena and not too flatteringly either I might add, but he did point out that he was senior student with an excellent record and he really wanted to help. So I gave him the benefit of the doubt. So- did he?"

"So did he what?" Asked Serena, while running through the usual; Insult me, degrade me, bully me-thought Serena, not give me the benefit of the 'doubt'. Yes, yes, yes and no.

"Help you?" Her mother asked, pulling Serena out of her head and back into the hallway. Serena noticeably paused as she looked for an answer, she could be honest and deal with the consequences, she could lie and deal with the consequences when she failed or as her own words to Amy came back to her, she could take option number three.

'It went fine Mum, I showed him my study sheet-the one I put together and we went through it all. I will be seeing him three times a week as planned at the library. No problems."

Both of them knew it wasn't completely true. Then again after seventeen years, her Mother instinctively knew it wasn't completely a lie either, just something a little more or a little less then what it seemed. However she had pushed Serena enough lately, hopefully her daughter would come to her if things got too out of hand.

"Okay then, remember I'm really proud if you Honey. Trying is the important part. Right? "

Serena knew an out when she saw one, or heard one. "Right! Well I'm just going to have a shower, call me when dinners ready and I'll set the table?"

"Sure Honey, about hour okay?"

"Okay" Called Serena as she trooped up the stairs. Escape.

Later that night Serena lay in her bed looking at her study sheet. She could do this. She had to do it. There wasn't really any other option. Putting the chart on her bedside table she flicked off her lamp and lay back. Curling one arm under her pillow and the other on Luna's sleeping head, tucked up in a blanket niche to her right hand side, and closed her eyes.

The day's events drifted and filtered through her mind's eye, and she flickered between one and the other. That insistent whisper deep down, that truth she would only ever admit too in the safe dark.

Ugly.

Although she had said it, and she had meant it, and she knew he'd believed it, she couldn't quite bring herself to really believe it. She would give anything for him to really see her. Because really, he wasn't ugly at all.


	5. Chapter 5

Against Reason - Chapter Six:

I own Nothing.

Thank-you all for your reviews, sorry i'm not really good with words.

* * *

Serena gnawed on her pen, risking the potential blue consequence as she pondered her current dilemma. "Where to study? Where to study?" Since her first lesson, the question had bounced back and forth in the back of her mind. Where, where, where? Until moments ago Serena had been paying very deliberate attention to all her classes, granted she was only into her third period. The current class topic, history, had been faithfully regurgitated into her notebook and she had begun the day with two, not one, but two working pens. That's Commitment for you. But the mental nagging, like the insistent nark of your alarm clock continued to ricochet; "The Dilemma". The irony was not lost on her; instead of listening in class she was once again distracted, distracted by secret study locations. Study sessions to compensate for her lack of attention within class. She gave a characteristic snort, causing one or two heads to look over at her. No the irony was not lost on her, but her recently adopted motto, "Study at your own pace-just don't lose the race", brought everything into perspective. Serena shrugged to herself.

A warped perspective – but still a perspective, to a certain degree...enough of that-Serena gave a mental shake and applied her attention to the list growing in the margin of her notebook. Where to study?

Library. Out. Amy

Home. Out. Mum

Tutorial Rooms. Out. The Ugly One

...Serena looked blankly at the options. She considered the public library but there was still a chance of Amy, or even Rei, Lita, Mina or someone else seeing her. It wasn't that see was ashamed of the situation, she just didn't want anyone to know. Serena tried to understand her own reasoning. It was like when you went on a diet, and if you mentioned it to anyone you were suddenly overwhelmed by advice, comparisons or those thoughtless if kindly meant comments of "You look so much better now!" Yup like you were an unworthy human being three kilos heavier ago. No one knows; No one comments, No one sees you fail. Wait-FALL! Failing wasn't on the cards. The crystal ball was all clear of failing in the near future. Serena straightened her shoulders and gave herself another mental bark – Drill Sergeant style. Everyone falls, but we are not failing. One step at a time, Study at your own pace and...why is everyone in the class staring at me?

"Miss Tsukino, If it's not too much trouble would you mind rejoining the class –unless you have something more important to share with us?" Her history teacher wore that bland, polite imitation of a considered expression, lips stretched out to resemble an attempt of a smile. Here we go. Serena apologetically ducked her head and felt herself flush in embarrassment. Day One of the Improved Serena Program. Fail.

"Sorry Sir."

Sashaying between the desks to peer over her, he continued to drawl. "I very much doubt that, as I very much doubt that you heard the question I asked you, or that you have heard any of the lesson at all."

Traitorous twitters broke out from several classmates, at the teachers snide attempt a wit. Trying to be funny at someone else expense was one of Serena's pet peeve.

In fact, It had just become Public hate number one. He did that. And just like that Serena's embarrassed flush fanned into white, hot anger and like a heat seeking missile it focused on the source of ridicule. Looking down at her notes Serena grasped onto the last unfinished point- Capitalism and colonialism of the 19th century-and decided to take pot luck.

Staring straight into that bland, sour face, she spat out-

"Gunboat policy."

The stupefied expression that followed was perhaps the most rewarding moment of Serena's academic career. And she barely stifled the giggle creeping up her throat.

Stalking stupidly back to the whiteboard he began barking out that nights reading assessments.

Hmmph, mused Serena, who would've thunk it.

"Andrews!"

Spurned by her victory over the slimy history teacher, the good thoughts just kept on coming.

Sprinting to her locker for a quick book exchanged Serena felt the epiphanies flash past her like buses, none for ages and then BAM! Three at once.

"ONE, She'll study at the Andrew's cafe. Two the girls only go there on weekends. Three If she is caught there everyone will assume it's for a sundae and Four, Oh glorious FOUR - And this was a the clincher. No chance of the Ugly one being there because he will be tutoring someone else in her time slot, back at school."

Serena jubilantly slammed her locker shut and spun on her heel, and slammed directly into Darien.

In a last ditch effort not to connect bodily, she twisted backwards and both legs flew out before her. Books, pens and paper flew up and out – almost if it had been rehearsed for a comedy skit and her coccyx hit the floor. Hard. Most people call it a tailbone, but Serena had fallen on it so many times she thought it deserved to be addressed formally. Shit it hurt.

Beryl's shrieking laugh introduced itself like nails on a blackboard, backed up by the mandatory sniggers of her ever present entourage of equally mindless groupies. Senior student Beryl Withers held the undisputed title of the pretty, cruel teenage cliché. She had substituted brain cells for Brazilian waxing back in junior high-and hadn't looked back. Beryl had learnt early that doors could be opened with a pretty face and a suggestive smile. Well doors held open by men, anyway. She seemed to derive joy from the misery of others-and for some inexplicable reason like a carrion feeder from a wildlife documentary, she targeted the weak impala of the school social herd and ran it to the ground. Just cause she could. Although, in her defense, as Amy had once pointed out- like a cowardly prairie dog with rabies, Beryl had been known to go up against the stronger, more assured members of the student body. The last show down between Lita and Beryl over a boy and a potential date had required trauma counselling for all witnesses who had the happy luck of being present. Certain asperses on personal physical attributes had been cast about and insinuations of STDs had been none too thinly veiled. Serena hadn't even been aware that some of those sexual positions were even possible.

Needless to say Lita had won.

From numerous well meant lectures of her parents Serena was advised that only truly insecure people felt the need to bully others. However, due to guilt by association through Lita, Beryl had stuffed Serena's gym gear down the toilet last year. Insecurity or not-Serena didn't like her. If Beryl had problems she could work it out with a shrink like everyone else had too.

And she was attached to Darien. Physically.

The Hyena hiccupped her way through her exaggerated hysteria, "Oh Serena! If only we could all be as graceful as you". Serena noted the red heads tentacles, blood red tipped and all, were suckered around Darien's free hand. His other seemed to be carrying, a double load of text books.

My, my how impressive. One handed.

So the bastard carries the Hyena's textbooks and he leaves me on the ground.

Desperately trying to stall the sudden jerk in her heart rate, Serena quickly raised her emotional deflector shields calling on secondary reinforcements in the form of sarcasm. Focusing on the sudden ache in her rear end and wondering if she had just flashed the entire hallway. She took the opportunity to hide her burning face, by ducking her head with the pretence of smoothing her skirt down her thighs. And she couldn't quite ignore the fact that infamous proportions of Beryl's upper chest seemed to be smooshed into Darien's left side. Taking several deep breathes she drew on her assembled reserves, shifting into arctic cool.

"Don't mention it Beryl, always glad to provide some amusement." Serena grumbled as she pulled herself to rights, brushed herself down and set about gathering up her fallen things. In her peripheral vision she noticed several students turn her way, others begin to stall and gather in the hallway, confused by the downed student and the two standing over her. Not helping.

While Beryl continued to snigger, Darien stood silent and stoic and apparently trying to pull off his best impression of a human lighthouse, or its angsty, teenage equivalent. Trying to appear nonchalant he simply looked like he had just smelt something bad.

So Darien wasn't sorry about yesterday, no surprises there, thought Serena. Replaced by a red head with legs to her nostrils and blemish free skin – way to go self esteem. Somewhere deep down inside her, sitting somewhere with that quiet little voice she heard at night, beat that sad little hope that he was sorry. She gathered her splayed items into a collective heap, even reaching as far as Darien's shoe for her runaway pencil case, "Really, don't trouble yourselves I've got it. No really I insist." She chirped with exaggerated enthusiasm, "Oh gee thanks guys, really appreciate all your help." Serena straightened up and faced the happy couple. Beryl's forced sniggers had shut off rather abruptly as she realised that not only was Serena apparently unembarrassed by it all, but Darien hadn't spoken or even moved throughout the whole exchange. Beryl shot a quick look at him, face pale and jaw clenched tight- he hadn't even offered to help-or apologise. Beryl had no inclination of helping what she consider social pond scum but Darien was usually such a gentleman. Beryl looked quickly but to the seemingly unruffled Serena and then quickly to several students nearby, including her own friends who only minutes ago had been cooing in envy when Darien had offered to carrying Beryl's books to science class for her. She wasn't enjoying this. She felt strangely embarrassed. Uncomfortable.

Serena watched Beryl's beautiful, blank face crease in confusion, and bolstered by the fact there were witnesses and this wasn't an abandoned dark alley or isolated bushland; no shallow grave anywhere nearby -

"Nice rock you got there Beryl. So tall. Gotta get to class. "

Negotiating around the couple back into the student stream of the hallway, past Beryl and as far from Darien as possible, Serena moved on.

Dismissed. Ignored.

She had walked off before he could even get a word out.

Ignored.

Ugly.

Darien turned quickly, jarring Beryl's linked arm and causing the girl to give a gasp of pain.

Darien didn't even notice.

This wasn't lost on Beryl. Or her cohorts.

"You know Serena", Darien's voice followed her down the hall, causing her to pause and turn slightly- she braced for pain. "This is a school - a facility for learning and education, why don't you stop wasting everybody's' time and let someone more deserving have a chance. "

The words echoed down the sudden hushed hall, a hall, Beryl realised was full of students. Staring at him. Darien only seemed to be seeing Serena. Annoyed she tugged to free her hand and Darien tightened his grip painfully. Beryl's face whipped back and forth between the two. Serena was half turned, her head tilted in thought-

Serena weighed the words in her head. Unoriginal. She had heard worse before – Hell, she'd heard that before almost word for word, from him. Ching, Ching- Ricocheted right off the deflector shield. And suddenly one of the ten brilliant things she hadn't had the presence to say back in the library, poured out of her;

"Anyone can pass a test Darien. Anyone can write an essay. Anyone can improve their study techniques, even me. Your smart Darien, smarter then I'll ever be", Turning completely around she walked a step back towards the two.

" But your rotten to the core. You're the lost cause Darien, I'm just bad at maths. Now excuse me – Don't want to be late for my next undeserved and wasted lesson." But she paused before turning as if a thought had suddenly occurred to her.

"Oh and Beryl-you could do better. And Darien" Looking pointedly down at Beryl's limp fingers and his white knuckles, "-She wants you to let go of her hand".

And without haste Serena moved off in the direction completely opposite to her next class. She strode with steady purpose until she could sprint unseen to the closest bathroom where, bolting through the door she slid into a heap against the cool tiles and began to hyperventilate.

War. Oh God – What had she just done. War.

Her vision fogged and blurred as she felt the tears run down her face as she frantically tried to remember what it felt like when his fingers had traced her hands that first day.

He was going to kill her.

He released Beryl's hand without looking at her, striding off after the little brat.

"Darien! My Books?"

"HE SAID WHAT?"

"Now Rei. calm down, caaaaalmmmmm doowwwwn. Calm down. "

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! WHAT IS HIS BLOODY PROBLEM?"

"She handled it Rei. She handled it really well. She kicked his arse – actually, I mean metaphorically speaking – she slaughtered him."

"But what's wrong with him? Why's he got it in for her?"

"No idea."

"I might have a idea."

"Amy?"

"Amy"


	6. Chapter 6

Against Reason: Chapter 7

Sailor Moon owns Sailor Moon.

* * *

Cold rivulets snaked a chilly path past Serena's collar, she took another breath before plunging her burning face back into shallow sink of water; the result of the fifth consecutive dunking was a waterlogged Serena, a flooded counter pane and stodgy pieces of toilet paper running rampant.

The rampant toilet was the by product of a flash of desperate intuition, borne from the need to cool down Serena's burning face. Serena had plugged the drain with wads of sodden toilet paper. Of which sodden refugees deposited themselves haphazardly on her uniform, in her hair and plastered unbecomingly on her face. Serena looked like she had just had a vicious encounter with a snow globe. And lost.

The self induced bouts of near drowning had served its purpose; the puffiness had receded and the violent red splotches were calmer. She should be vaguely presentable in time for the next period, and she had planned to dry off under the hand dryer, she done this before on rainy days when her umbrella was MIA, and it had a notable success rate. Well notable to the extent that it had the happy result of dragging a girl away from that thin line of "Wet t-shirt competition, amateur division" and back towards – "School girl has unfortunate encounter with a puddle."

She took a breath and ducked her head under for one last time, keeping her lips pressed tight against accidental water toilet paper consumption. Her morbid imagination heaved up a quick parody of a eulogy dedicated to Serena, vanquished by sodden toilet paper – 'oh what a loss; she died so young, and filled with so much potential. She perished at the hands of toilet paper, oh what a world, what a world'.

When the ache from the awkward angle became too much she brought her head back up, and dragged her hands down her face, catching up tissue debris. God – it was a depressing sight.

"In the bathroom. Take two."

She murmured, leaning closer to the mirror to assess the collateral damage caused by a violent session of snotty weeping. Overwhelmed by the bleak reality of a red nose and puffy eyes she closed her eyes and rested her soggy forehead against the unforgiving reflection. Serena felt a sodden; tissue-y smudge in the vague shape of her forehead upon its pristine surface was a warranted revenge. Although she was aware of the poetic justice, that she would have to clean this mess up before leaving.

Refuge in a toilet.

Again.

Serena had the scary suspicion in ten years time when the therapist would advise her to "go to your happy place", the reek of chemically enhanced lavender and cool white tiles would feature strongly.

Heavy and fast, the quick, tip-tap of approaching footsteps sounded moments before the heave of the heavy bathroom door. Serena had begun to open her eyes, but the distinct almost "loud" silence of the person, tapped into her natural reserves of trepidation. Her spine stiffened and goose pimples crawl across her damp skin. Whoever or whatever they were; perhaps someone's Tomogochi had gone rogue...corporeal and needed an "actual" toilet break, hadn't made a sound even after the door had closed with a click. Keeping her eyes stubbornly closed and forehead fixed to the mirror she was determined to ignore the presence of the silent person now standing in the girls' third floor bathroom.

Please be Amy.

Please be Rei.

Please be a hall monitor.

Please be a teacher.

Please be anyone.

Please be an alien life form.

Hell, please be Beryl even.

Obviously the universe was very bored today. Bitter, nasty bastard that it was.

"You're meant to be in class."

"And you're meant to be in the boy's toilet."

With a small sigh, moving nothing but her eyelids, she opened them in time to see the misty fog of her breath receded from the mirror. Tall and confronting, Darien stood between the stalls and the counter, and Serena noted randomly, still carried half a dozen textbooks.

"Are those Beryl's text books?"

Serena had no idea why she had just blurted that particular question, given that the circumstance had several more pressing 'questions' to be resolved – although some strange, detached part of her wondered with morbid pointless curiosity, how Beryl would explain her "no book" situation to the teacher.

Which brought her back to her own ..."situation".

Between her and the door, Darien of the white, angry face was back.

"I demand an apology. You insulted me in front of the school, and you didn't even have the decency to talk –"

"- You have a supposedly brilliant mind Darien, how did you miss the girl in a skirt on the door."

Darien's lips thinned and he took a step towards the counter, towards Serena. She saw his jaw clench and his hand, the one not carrying the books clench till the knuckles whitened.

A small feeling of doubt was beginning to creep in. Not unlike sea sickness, a queasiness of uncertainly and unease unfurled low in her stomach. A chilling thought suddenly whispered through her, "How well do you know Darien? Really?"

He was very angry, unjustified or not, at her and they were alone.

"Really... how well do you know him?"

Pulling herself away from the mirror, and turning towards him she reached for books and deliberately forced herself to hold them at her hip, not clutched defensively to her chest, hoping her sudden uncertainty wasn't obvious. The voice of an ABC presenter came to her, "Animals can smell fear".

Right. What would David Attenborough do, besides rolling in banana leaves with mountain gorillas?

Show no fear.

"Seriously Darien, get out of the Girls' toilets. "

Darien flinched when his fingernails carved crescent moons into the palm of his clenched hand when it contracted involuntarily at her bored tone.

Bored!

She was completely unapologetic. Not only had she embarrassed him in the library; lied about Amy's study sheet and then physically assaulted him in the hallway because she was flinging herself around like a demented stork – he felt angry, hot, uncontrollable anger flood him. She was doing everything wrong – EVEN NOW. She was staring at him like he was diseased. The wants flashed one after another through his mind like, a shrink on speed flashing violent splats of ink blots. He just wanted to tear her down. Wanted her to admit that she did everything wrong. She always misunderstood everything he said. Deliberately.

She was wrong. She was Ungrateful.

This was in her best interests.

He had stormed through the door without thinking. He winced inwardly when he realised that he had just walked into a female toilet – although, he couldn't help feeling resentful of the fact that she kept pointing it out. She had humiliated him, and even now, just as he had said she was skipping class – there, right there, he point was proven. He had a point! And he flung himself on it like a rabid mongoose.

"Skipping Class, Serena? Just like I said, 'wasting everyone's time."

Affecting a low drawl, even going so far as to lean back against the stall's wall, one foot crossed over the other, Darien took the time to flick his mirrored self a confirming glance. Confident he had effectively masked his relief with a cool, collected expression, fist was released and jaw relaxed.

Her repeated references to their current locality had thrown him out of his usual stride.

Why did he just look at himself? Serena took the time to shoot a glance back over her shoulder to mirror to confirm that it was just a mirror. Just him and a mirror.

She was confused and gobsmacked. She was literally Gobsmacked. She read about it – never knew what it meant really, but knew then and there she was experiencing it.

Smacked of the Gob.

He had followed her into the toilets to have a go at her? Into the toilets! What if had been cramps? Or a tampon emergency?

Her bloody tailbone still ached.

BASTARD!

The surge of anger slammed into the wall of her self-preservation, the two warred it out; one screaming, "Grab your books and run!" the other, "Destroy him – what have we done to him? What is his bloody problem? Hold his head in the sink and bury the body in the flowerbed."

Serena's inner war was short and vicious, the wall of self preservation was engulfed by the tsunami of anger, however it held firm on one point like an outcrop of granite; raise your voice maybe someone will come looking and find him standing over your body in time be a witness at the trial of your murder –

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?"

"Keep your voice down" He advanced with a hiss and a sharp, severing motion with his hand.

"I WILL NOT KEEP MY VOICE DOWN! YOU- " and because he had moved into striking distance, unknowingly Serena's hand had chosen to develop a mind of its own in the manner of ghetto-tastic and stab itself painfully, for both parties, against his breast bone. "YOU", with another poke, "tried to publicly humiliate me. YOU KNOCKED ME OVER!" Serena could feel the tell tale furry burn on her sore eyes, her voice was breaking, she was angry and her bloody weak body was betraying her. She grasped at her anger, just a little more – to get her out of this with breaking down in a blubbering, snotty mess.

"And you didn't even HELP ME UP!"

Darien felt a twinge of guilt at her call, he had been too surprised to react when they had collided, too angry, too hurt and her words in the library. Ugly. Bully.

Some part of him knew this was wrong, he could see she had been crying and was about to cry again. But it wasn't his fault. Couldn't be his fault. Denial. She was wrong all the other times, mostly; and he - he was the good guy, the good student, the tutor, the student council member, never late, never failed –

Denial.

"YOU walked away!"

Serena stared up at Darien with horrified scepticism. They were talking about the same thing, weren't they? The same day? The same hallway? Her words came out slowly, disbelieving,

"Have you got a split personality?"

She continued on, before he had a chance to reply, "You knocked me over Mr Selective Memory. You didn't help me up and then called me a waste of space in front of half the student body."

He shook off her claim with a shake of his head, arms still crossed he gave dismissive wave of his fingers, "You're exaggerating, and you fell over because you were flinging yourself around dementedly, with no concern for other students using the hall." Darien felt himself finding his metaphorical feet, this was a well worn path to him – he could walk it blindfolded. "You have no respect for anyone, or anything and when someone-a school senior, tries to impress a point on you – you childishly throw a public tantrum and run off –"

"GET OUT OF THE BLOODY GIRLS TOILETS DARIEN!"

Serena flung her hand out, pointing to the exit, she felt, literally felt, the shriek rip from her throat. She hated him. She HATED HIM.

"Not until you listen to me and apologise about your behaviour at the library and lying about Amy's help. " He concluded his righteous speech resting his shoulders back against the stall partitions; Serena stood still and silent, clutching her textbooks as she watched his face-searched his face. He had talked over her, ignored her, and belittled her – again. His face had lost the honesty of its uncontrolled white tinge, locked jaw and thin lips.

Smug, controlled Darien was back.

A sense of sudden defeat swept over her, she had deluded herself from the beginning. Why would a guy like Darien like her, with girls like Beryl, Lita and Rei to choose from? Guys like that didn't hang around long enough to look beneath the surface, and that Darien she wanted didn't exist anyway. She had heard somewhere that beautiful people dazzled you, like sunlight on the water – you're so struck, so stunned that you don't take the time to see what's beneath the surface- Sharks and rotting wood.

Before, she had thrown that word at him thoughtlessly, "Rotten", perhaps her subconscious was more clued in then she was consciously.

He was mean. Or she just wasn't worth being nice too.

"Fine, if you want to stay, enjoy the ladies facilities Darien – I'm leaving."

Darien reacted without thinking, the sudden panic of her leaving – He reached for her, with a sudden, jerky movement grabbing her wrist.

Fuelled by pain, hurt, anger and a little fear - without thinking Serena twisted around, pulling his arm around her and pushing her back in the curve of his body. She heard his sudden gasp of surprise moments milliseconds before bringing her right foot up and slamming her heel down on the exposed instep of his right foot. As Darien doubled over with a yelp, Serena flung her shoulder back into his face wincing at the crack of impact and the sudden flare of pain as the ball of her shoulder met the bridge of his nose.

"ZESUS THUCKING DRIST THERENA.'

Serena spun around to find a hunched over Darien clutching his face whilst desperately trying to stem the flood of blood pouring from beneath his fingers.

Mortification.

Absolute mortification, welled up, she had never hurt anyone in her life-so much blood.

"Darien! Oh my God- I am so sorry, so sorry. I panicked. I Panicked."

She reached for him and he pulled back sharply.

"VELL BO. BTAY THWAY."

Backing away from her into the wall, truly alarmed. This girl could inflict real damage.

"Really Darien, I didn't mean to do that – I panicked and Lita's defence training kicked. Please Darien, you have to hold your head back and stem the flow, it happens to Sammy all the time."

Inconceivably the fact that he was gushing blood, just had his arse handed to him by girl half his size and his face fucking hurt – not to mention his foot, Darien zeroed in on one point.

"Bho's Bammy?"

"What"

"Bammy? Bho Vis He?" Muttered Darien.

"Bammy? Oh Sammy! He's my little brother."

Darien tried to ignore the flood of ludicrous relief. "Give him nose bleeds regularly do you?" he remarked dryly, his words now discernable as he tilted his head back and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"No!" Serena realised she really couldn't pull off the righteous indignation given the current circumstances. "He's prone to them – here come over here, sit back against the sink. Keep your head back," Serena half pulled half guided Darien backwards against the ledge of the basins. Darien allowed himself to be guided backwards, pushed back against the ledge outcropping of the sinks, back to the mirror head still tilted back he kept his legs spread wide for balance as he rested against the edge of the counter.

It took only a moment to feel the damp inch through the think weave of his school pants.

Serena looked over from dampening some of the more sturdy hand tissue she'd torn from the wall dispenser, when he rose. He looked down at the spreading dark water mark on his hereto spotless grey pants and then looked pointedly at Serena, his glance travelling down her damp hair, the patchy blouse and fading tracks of watered ink crisscrossing her fingers.

Serena gave him a stricken expression the fact that she had just placed Darien directly in her recently created deluge and thus caused him to look like he had just peed his pants, seem to be like heaping the sprinkles of insult to the sundae of injury she was serving up. She braced herself for 'Krakatoa, The Sequel'.

Darien rose silently and placed himself on the far end of the counter.

Serena silently squeezed the paper towel of excess water and cautiously moved towards Darien.

She suddenly had another flash of David Attenborough, pronounced vowels murmuring in her minds ear to approach the frightened animal, 'slooooooowly'.

Serena moved to his side and reached up to remove his hand, he jerked away instinctively and warily stared at her, one obnoxious eyebrow raised questioning.

"Stop it. I am really, really sorry Darien – Please let me help."

Leaning up to him on tip toe, she steadied herself with one hand on his shoulder while the other gently pried his fingers clinging defensively to the bridge of his nose. Keeping his head tilted had lessened the flow considerably, and she knew from past experience the cold of the improvised compress would bring it to a complete stop. But it had to hurt like hell.

Beyond the point of slowly the burgundy cascade, she really had no idea what she was doing. She had experience cleaning up her little brothers odd nose bleeds but this was a result of violence. What if something was broken, what if SHE had broken something. She was looking at expulsion. She was looking at plausible assault charges. Not to mention the social ostracism that would result from damaging the premium product that was Darien. Hell she'd be lynched.

She'd be expelled.

Darien remained silent and still, watching the disconnected Serena press the cold towel against his aching nose and then without even thinking, take a corner of the damp towelette and begin wiping the bloody trail from his face. Unthinking, unhesitating and seemingly unaware she moved sideways in between the v of his legs to gain better access.

Darien's pain, guttered, flickered and died his body clamouring to acknowledge a completely different sensation. He barely suppressed a shudder as Serena, briefly steadied herself with one hand to his knee, moving even further between his thighs the curve of her body, aligned with his own. The touch of small hands on his face, Darien's body was undistractedly aware, very aware, of Serena's presence between his legs, chest to chest – and wearing a partially see through blouse. When she leant forward to wipe the towel across his upper lip, he swallowed hard and loudly, reached up and grasped her wrist, tugging it almost harshly away. Serena jerked back from dark thoughts of her immediate demise – suddenly returning to the present of the girl's toilets.

"Did I hurt you?"

And suddenly realised that she was standing practically on top of Darien; between his legs.

She went very, very still. Inches apart they stared at each too silently and for too long to be insignificant. Darien knew his breathing was too shallow, too rapid to go unnoticed and that his body was about to betray how much he wanted her there, wanted her closer. He could see every freckle across her nose, each eyelash and the slight dip of her lower lip. Serena really take in that he heat from his body, the heat from the hand, its long fingers wrapped around her upper arm and the slight movement of his breath touching her skin, the slightest hint of mint and coffee. The silence was broken only by the constant drip of water and their breathing.

Suddenly Darien moved, wordlessly used the arm he still held to push her gently away from him; turning from her to hide his body's reaction against the sink. No control; he never had any fucking control when it came to her.

"Darien?"

Still silent he turned and moved to the sink, turning on the tap he cupped his hands and began to wash the remaining blood from his face. The bleeding had stopped.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you. Again."

"Please Darien." Her tone was etched with remorse.

Water in his eyes and dripping from his hair, he reached for the paper towel dispenser blindly; she hurried over and grabbed a torn hand full and planted them in his grasp. He patted his face down, and ran his hand quickly through his hair, carving it back towards his neck and off his forehead. He finally looked up, exasperation, disbelief and certain morbid sense of humour came to him as he saw their twin reflections, his bent over the porcelain, her concerned face hovering over his shoulder. Both wet, both tangled and water stained, her uniform with tinged with ink, his with blood. A matched pair. He had fallen to her level.

"Why did you do it?" He asked quietly, watching her face.

"Your nose?"

"Yes, my nose?"

She didn't reply. She wasn't sure anymore. She couldn't hold his eyes.

"You said you 'panicked'-what did that mean?"

He rested his hands on the counter and leant forward, still watching her face, he watched her hesitate. But he didn't anticipate the answer she finally gave with averted eyes.

"You scared me."

Darien went very, very still. His voice was quiet, his tone flat.

"You thought I was going to hurt you. " It wasn't a question.

His defeated tone brought her eyes up, straight to his face, His expression calm, almost mask like, but the eyes were raw and wounded.

Her throat constricted and she couldn't form the words. She nodded, mutely –and almost apologetically.

He looked down and away, turning the tap back on hard and both hands reaching under the almost violent pour, but not before she saw his face crumple.

She felt like a puppy killer.

She had just made Darien cry.

And the simple realisation occurred to Serena. Darien was just a human, a bloody teenage boy – that she had cast in the two dimensional role of Villain or Hero. He was meant to be mean, cruel, thoughtless a bully or the Popular, stoic over achiever. Whatever served her purpose, and she had disregarded the human beneath the veneer.

And that human was breaking apart, over a paper clogged sink, in the girl's bathroom.

Because of her.

She moved without thinking, unmindful of the slippery floor she plunged at him falling into his side and wrapped her arms around his bent shoulders. He flinched away, but she held on, and with her closest hand reached through his arms and turned off the streaming faucet.

"Darien! I'm sorry; So, so, so sorry." She whispered peering round his shoulder, trying to catch his eyes, "Of course you wouldn't, But I just don't know you that well and you were so angry! You're always so angry at me! Darien! Look at me please! Please, look at me!" She pleaded, tugging at his body, trying to see his face.

His shoulders shuddered slightly, his head remained tucked into his chest, he wordlessly shook his head as his hands continued to grasp the counter and small trails of water ran down from his hair and over them both. She could not tell if there were tears amongst the water tracked across his cheeks. She pressed herself more insistently to his side. A moment ago he had felt heat, a surge of unconditional warmth and now he felt cold, a tainted dripping chill through him.

"Come on Darien, talk to me."

"You thought I would hurt you?" His voice breaking on the final word, the pitch choked.

Serena's managed to pull him up, "Yours always so angry at me." She practically begged him to see reason, she couldn't be the cause of this – this pain, and she didn't want to be. He would see her reasons; and with this determined wrench she pulled him around, his face finally to hers as they both leaned against the counter. His hands clenching the counter, knuckles white from the force of his grip.

"Why are you always so angry with me, Darien?" She demanded, inches from him.

He closed the gap, and pressed his mouth against hers – teeth clashed and Serena felt the sharp slice of pain on her lip. She jerked away, startled letting him go her hands coming between them warding him off. He made no noise as he avoided her face and stumbled past her to the door.


	7. Chapter 7

Against Reason: Chapter 8

Sailor Moon owns Sailor moon.

* * *

Serena reeled backward, eyes wide and startled by Darien's sudden invasion of personal space. A slash of pain as her lower lip jarred between teeth; Teeth! Their teeth - his and hers.

God.

What.

Was.

That.

Darien's teeth are touching my teeth?

Her hands raised up defensively - purely instinctive, bracing against the sudden impact, as if a ball had been thrown, a bull charged, a piano dropped from an inexplicable rope/pulley system. Her hands flew up - inadvertently pushing against his chest her feet scrambling uselessly for purchase on the tiled floor.

Preoccupied with the startling, soggy, painful turn of events Serena's reaction to Darien's sudden absence; specifically the absence of his teeth in her lip was somewhat delayed. With a wounded noise Darien, the physical space he had occupied, the weight that he was - was no longer there.

White noise held her still.

He just tried to kiss me.

_Idiot. Useless, fucking idiot._ Darien, red faced and white knuckled reached and clasped the door handle with mortified fingers and sought escape.

Darien moved fast – Serena moved faster; with strategy.

Serena placed her hand, palm down above the handle, across the door spanning the gap and the metal frame.

She stood to his side, very still.

Her breathing was uneven, his sounded traumatised. His fingers flexed upon the handle – his face determinedly turned from hers, a nervous muscle pulsed by his jaw.

_Nothing. _

Serena had absolutely nothing to go on, nothing to say; and went with the obvious.

"If you pull," calmly, "you might hurt me."

She watched his hand; she didn't seek out his face, his eyes with her own - unsure if it was for his sake or hers. Some things were simply easier without eye contact.

Serena groped for a direction, something to lead her to the next step.

She was floundering, overwhelmed by an onslaught of information, possibilities, reasons - too many, too fast.

_Why was this happening in a toilet_!

Grasp; cling, clutch - at anything; anything that may salvage this, salvage_ this_ Darien.

And then like a needle, sharp, sure and clinically effective; "No one, - " He began, with a casually empty tone, eye contact still absent, "No one will believe you. They will just say you're doing it for attention, you're deluding yourself – you'll just make a fool of yourself – even bigger than the one you already are, if such a thing was possible; a sad, deluded, little fool. "

_Or not._

They both watched her hand on the door flinch at the tearing words; clawing at her self esteem. He couldn't help hurt her, his stomach rolled from it, some part of him screamed against it – a dull gnawing ache he had ignored for so long. But he threw the words at her, part lie, part truth - he couldn't bring himself to yank the door or shove her from him, he would push her away with cruel words, lash out and poison her with self doubt.

"Do you honestly think you can compete with Beryl."

_Let go of the bloody door,_ he begged silently. Just walk away.

They watched her hand curl creep inward in self doubt, her small hand, unsure and insecure above his own, regimented and lifeless as the steel handle he clung too.

Serena began to move her hand slowly from the door, careful not to touch Darien's own.

_Or not. _

The veins of his hands broke blue ribbons across his knuckles and twisted up his arm to disappear beneath the damp sleeve of his school shirt.

Damp.

That silly little detail caught her; held her and steadied her - clarity. His sleeve was damp because of the water, the water she had used to wash away his nose bleed, the nose bleed she had given him, and like a silly nursery rhyme a strange logical sense twisted its way through her mind. His hand clutched the door handle because he was running away, he was running because he had kissed her...knee bone connected to the...

She ran her tongue along her lip– flinching slightly at the tenderness, bruised but unbroken. He had tried to kiss her - and it had been terrible. A total cock up. Darien was a ...bad ...kisser.

Darien...had screwed up.

Clarity. Her smile was small and sure, her hand flexed and realigned itself above his own.

_I think not. _

..thigh bone is connected..Beryl's books were on the counter. Soaking wet.

A remark guaranteed to make her angry, to make her lash out; to make her remove her hand and release him, to let him walk away.

And let him ruin this.

That was then this was now. Suddenly she was back in the library - but this time he was the one running - he was the one that was scared, who's afraid of the big bad wolf now Darien? Weighing it all up she took a risk.

She moved forward, keeping her hand against the jar, and leant her forehead against his shoulder feeling a shudder ripple through him at the contact. A small part of her cautioned against getting too overwhelmed by his "response" to your touch, " your soaking wet" – was the pragmatic observation –" he's soaking wet and the bathroom was hardly balmy". Her free hand traced up his side and stole past the defensive arc of his elbow to rest lightly against the lowermost ribs, Darien's jerky breathing stopped completely. He stood still, as if frozen and Serena moved slowly, so slowly moving closer she slid her forehead sideways to rest her cheek between his shoulders. The fingertips of her hand barely feeling the bone and muscle beneath the shirt they rested feather light. In contrast the hand locked on the door was of equal parts lead, steel and granite.

_I don't know what I'm doing. What next, what next?_

_No one will believe you..._

"But I will know, and so will you."

No response.

"You have to breathe sometime Darien."

That drew a response, a tragic shuddery breath.

She was touching him.

He stared at their hands, unbidden the image of his palms above hers, their positions exchanged as he held her against the door, any door, a wall – a bed. He would pin her to him, press her small soft body against his, carve himself over her and make her feel what she did to him. Unbidden as the image was in his mind, was the response of his body to it. Shaking his head as though to throw off his thoughts, he jerked back to reality and jerked away from her.

With a defeated sigh Serena loosened her hold, dropping her hand from his body and lifting herself from him. With a mindless panic Darien rapidly scrabbled for her hand entwining their fingers in a clumsy knot and yanking her back against him, with a startled "oomph" her cheek reacquainted itself with his back.

_...okayyyyyyy..._

Wordlessly, blindly he willed not to pull away. He felt her go still behind him, and he locked his jaw – he didn't know what he wanted, from her, from him; but right now he wanted her hands on him and her weight against him, and warm breath against his right shoulder.

Serena wordlessly resumed her place against him, shuffling forward slighting and his gripped lessened, but his fingers remained tangled with hers, he dropped his head down to watch their hands rise and fall slightly with his breathe, some strange disjointed part of his mind told him to experiment with his breathe just to create a pattern.

Serena once again was speechless.

_Dr Jekyll and Darien, in the girls bathroom – take two_.


	8. Chapter 8

This chapter is dedicated to Stephumz.

Thank you all for reading, and waiting...and waiting...and waiting.

RATED M - For Swearing.

* * *

Maybe that was not the most... Darien struggled for a word that didn't make him begin bleeding inwardly ...appropriate thing to do, he settled appropriate and definitely not she seemed, recalling the blunt admission with a flush of shame, 'scared', by him - practically splitting her lip may not have been the...she was repulsed by him, her hands hand come up, to defend herself - from then she had grabbed _him_... and now she was quiet and he was ... which way he looked at this, he was stuck. And this was probably the closest he would ever get to her; this was such a fuck was such a fuck up. And she was right, she always was in her deranged, rain man kind of way - no one would know, but them.

Her hands were cold, but her body was warm.

Serena had bad circulation.

What?

Where? Why was he thinking about this now? .Fuck. He had stopped thinking about a week ago.

She didn't have to see his face to know the muscle under the jaw was tick-tocking away, accompanied by the gentle noise of his Molars grinding back and forth. Under the unforgiving fluorescent lights, the soft indentations of acne were visible - just under the strong muscles of the it was strangely appealing.

A flicker of thought by passed her, what would he do if she passed her mouth along his neck. Lita raved on and on about sexual appeal and whatzit, but...Serena's nerve chickened out. He already seemed pretty unstable. Maybe we shouldn't add Uranium to _this_ particular fire. Serena by passed the need for eye contact and watched his pale hand twitch on the door handle.

And we're back in a doorway again.

Tutor rooms, bathrooms...we might actually make it out the door with some serious effort...and counselling.

Serena gnawed on her lower lip to hold back her snort, and leaned further into the wall that was Darien. She inhaled subtly, what was it about some males and their smell that got the pheromones pumping - it's like a hormonal super power. Serena began to tap her fingers on the door frame.

"That's very annoying Serena."

The fingers paused, "So is a split lip '_Darien_' - but you don't hear me complaining", and resumed 'annoying'.

It would make sense - well not 'sense' really, just more sense if it wasn't Darien.

_Tap, tap, - tap,tap, - ratattata- Tap._

She watched the twitch become more pronounced.

Or made it only made sense that it was Darien - She just never expected him to...'something' her back.

Bumper to bumper- backing behind its counterpart; breaking tail lights and exchanging insurance details and swearing like sailors, thoughts came a honking;

A cruel joke.

This could be a very cruel joke.

_Tap, tap, - tap, tap, - ratattata- Tap._

The tick, ticked 'hard'.

Beryl and cohorts would be waiting gleefully in the hallway, shrieking with laughter at Serena's sad, little delusions.

The tapping stilled.

Beryl would be the type of person that would get some sort of high from someone else's low - why was it always the pretty ones that acted like rattle snakes. Small fluffy animals are hypnotized until the fangs are wedged into -

Darien shifted against her.

But then again...that wasn't Darien's style.

She had a small thought beginning to unfurl; a small, pale thought.

When it came to Darien, perhaps she and Beryl were in the same boat.

A sinking boat and an apathetic circling Darien. A Darien that had a dorsal fin, four rows of teeth and a lot of time on his hands.

And Beryl didn't have Rei, Lita and Amy to catch her when she fell...or was pushed.

Fall. Bump. Injury.

Her Elbow!

Had a piece of nose bone flaked off when her elbow had impacted with his face and lodged itself into some part of the frontal lobey thingy maginny?

And there we have it.

Darien had a concussion as a result of her 'Elbow' asserting itself...into the conversation... and he hadn't known what he was doing - sorry ego, Serena mentally sympathised- but I think we have a winner. Serena gave herself a mental clap on the back for her scientific deduction _a la _CSI and a mental box of tissues. It had been a nice delusion, while it lasted. Still as wrong as it seemed now in hind sight, she had gotten good hands on demonstration, enough to feed several years of delusions - slash - fantasies. Under normal circumstances, she reassured herself, he was certainly a better kisser. A concussion would affect anyone's snogging ability. Darien could practically hear Serena thinking, the clunk and grind of her cogs turning in that scary place she called a head.

A place that he was equally scared of and desperate to get into, his lips were dry and his collar wet and the bell was about to ring. At the very least he could say sorry, his spine locked at the thought - he wasn't sorry - well he was, and he wasn't. Maybe if she could just say the wrong thing, his hand twitched on the door handle, smudged and increasing slippery by the sweat of his palm. If she just said something cruel or mean - or stupid, Serena couldn't be cruel or mean - 'Stupid' however, she could do stupid. He could feed on that; nurture it, encourage it - throw it out of proportion and context, and just walk away.

"Ser -"

She hugged him a little closer.

"Smell much better than a wet dog."

Blank.

Every thought, word and action that Darien had braced for - this wasn't one of them.

Cruel, Hurtful. Stupid.

Blank.

"-you."

Oh fuck it - His voice broke.

The tremors of Serena's laugh vibrated along his back and he felt her shift again.

She'd caught him off guard.

He was like a giant, slightly damp wolf - no not a wolf something a little less wild, but not completely tame - something liable to snap at you every once in a while; a husky maybe or a dog from the rescue centre, just a little damaged and therefore worthy of extra love.

Typical, I always end up with the slightly demented ones - like her cat Luna, found in the alley - or Rei...she definitely was a little demented.

And now she had laughed at his "teenage boy goes through puberty lapse" and he was ready to lash out. Again.

And it certainly hadn't escaped her that Darien, besides the sudden cobra like grab or one or two snarks, had remained silent and still this entire time. The 'strange' was definitely gaining momentum.

She readjusted her hold and hugged him closer, and twined her foot around his; the sudden hitch of breath and heave of ribcage was certainly gratifying.

Probably thinks I'm going to drop him, wrestler style.

"I'm going to let go of the door now, please don't bolt through it"

Leaning to the side, Serena just caught the twitch of his jaw muscles. He smiled at the hopeful wistfulness of her tone.

"My God, is that a smile? Did Darien Shields just smile? "

He snuffed it out and held it down by giving the inside of his cheek a quick nip of his teeth.

"Too late Darien - but nice try."

Her hand released the door, slowly pausing halfway between his body and the door, ready to slam itself back if he had made a break for it, and he felt a small fissure of warmth at her caution.

She relented completely, "I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt." and moved her hand to tap along his still extended arm.

He still didn't look at her; he shuffled his feet and flexed his hand around the door handle. The bell would ring - and he would leave.

There. If she wasn't going to say something, commit to something first - it would be taken out of their hands and the bell for fifth period would end this.

"You know if there was a door handle holding contest, I think you would definitely be a strong contender."

Nothing.

The bell would ring, eventually - a very soon eventually - and he would go back to being public, jerky Darien with neat hair and a blood free, dry, unstained shirt and straight tie. And Beryl. Beautiful, socially acceptable, bubble headed, snarling, Hyena Beryl.

She was out of time. They were out of time. What if this was the last chance? No more doorways; no more bathrooms, no more elbows. Fate and Destiny were busy people - maybe you get a quota, and then - that's it, you're on your own, you had your chance.

There was no point in lying to herself - she really wanted him. All of him.

The tip of her tongue traced her bruised lip.

What would have happened if she hadn't freaked out?

"You didn't hurt me you know, before -I mean, my lip is fine."

Predictably the "Jaw" twitched and the mouth remained shut, locked and bolted. Big Foot probably had the spare key.

"It's okay. I'm not asking for an explanation...or an apology."

"You wouldn't get one anyway."

And the access code appeared to be anger.

"There you are! I was wondering where you had gone. I think I was beginning to have 'Darien-the-Bastard' withdrawal symptoms."

She dipped her head around his shoulder and hooked her chin on his arm, trying for eye contact. Was she going to hell for taking advantage of a concussed man? Teenager. With a six pact.

Good his smell was making her skin twitch from the inside out.

"This is okay, well actually my arm is starting to cramp up a little - but it's more than okay," tapping one foot against his heel, "That is until the bell rings - then it could get awkward."

"Do you ever stop talking?"

The venom just wasn't there anymore, and Serena wondered if it ever was.

"Do you ever start?"

"How can I when you never shut up."

Ah...now this-this was familiar territory - although slightly different, the malice was distinctly absent, like last year's Christmas tree wearing new decorations. Spindly, but attractive.

One must tread carefully. Stay true to form but make a definite concession.

"Darien, I'm writing a word on your back -"

And he felt a distinct twitch from between his shoulders at the innocent and isolated contacted, like a line of electricity moving down his back through to his navel; it was a strangely intimate thing. None of his girlfriends had ever-

A.R.S.E.H.

He gave a snort, "Very original, Meatball Head."

"I don't need to be, "She quipped, "You've been one since school started."

"Well thanks for the analysis - Freyd."

The gauntlet had been thrown down, the challenge accepted, the voice "break" forgotten, the lip assault dismissed.

They knew how this worked. She was almost proud of him.

"Ohhhh - I wouldn't go down that path if I was you Darien, You have had it in for me since Junior year. The only thing missing from this scenario is a Teddy Bear and large cucumber. "

Darien pondered the 'Cucumber', before smirking down at her, "I don't suffer from any envy in 'that' department thank-you."

Eye contact!

Serena tapped her chin against his arm, she would have used a finger - but they were otherwise occupied. Somewhere between writing swear words on his back and being entangled with his own along his stomach.

"Yet you didn't dispute the 'Teddy Bear'.

Darien snorted, "You're a dork - really, you are; it used to be a word I just flung in your general direction - but, you are in fact a bonified dork. Did you take classes or does it just come naturally?"

Serena simply gave a thoughtful nod and gave his earlobe a gentle flick - "Words of wisdom from the man in the chicks' loo? Not mention you just had your arse handed to you by a girl. "

She softened her hold on him as he twisted his torso to look back at her, his chin resting on his shoulder, staring down through the strands of his liberated fringe. "This is a stupid conversation-and I don't even know if we are discussing the same thing."

"You only say that because your losing - it makes perfect sense to me. Tell me Darien," Serena stretched up onto her toes, falling woefully short of his eye line and just making it to his chin, "Do you only want a toy, when another kid starts to play with it?"

Darien twisted completely around, leaning back against the door and releasing Serena's hands only to lightly circle one wrist, keeping a loose hold and tapping along the bones with his finger tips. The other rested lightly on her lower back - it was a strange sense of muddled _de ja vu_, of the library, the sink...

Her heart stopped.

"Why do you smell like a doughnut?"

Thud. And it started again.

"What?"

"You smell like a doughnut - and apparently I smell better then a wet dog, thanks for that - I like to have standards."

Serena's entire focus fixated on the small patterns he was drawing on the inside of her wrist, back and forth and along the veins. If it wasn't already touching, every part of his body was millimetres from hers.

...Thud.

Lips. Eyes. Breathe.

"That's not fair - Darien."

Suddenly his face broke into grin; pure and simple - without a hint of the smug or smirk. Just a happy grin.

And the thudding turned into a thunk.

She was officially shark bait.

"Welcome to the last 45 minutes of my life Serena. Now- about the Doughnut?"

"I had one for breakfast."

"Of course you did, because that's the healthy option."

"I'm glad you think so - _Mother_."

The grinned twisted at the ends and he rolled his eyes at her typically teenage, petulant reply.

He leaned forward; tipping his head lower he gently traced his nose along the small exposure of her high collar, to touch the tip behind her ear lobe.

"What did you do, rub it all over yourself?"

Holy Mother of - Hell. Serena gave a jerk as her abdomen flip flopped and twisted in on itself, before suffering vertigo and flinging itself in a pit of weightless, nothingness - hot and flushed as though she had just stepped into the path of a solar flare, her body was demanding and Serena was not adverse to giving into the demand, twisting herself back to see Darien's face. Misinterpreting the movement borne of Serena's surge of hormonal demands, he dropped his hold; wounded and humiliated, unknowing running ice cold as Serena was hot.

He was doing so well, he thought he was being playful - and he had gone and fucked it up again by scaring her.

Again.

Ducking his head low and stepping away, he almost missed Serena's kiss completely. As it was it fell awry, just to the right of his mouth - by the edge of his jaw. Freezing completely, part thinking that had just been a complete fluke of timing, her lips had accidently touched him as she was obviously trying to run away from him and his stupidity - the second kiss, lips dry and closed touched his lower lip, her hands moving to his shoulders and tugging him towards. A third kiss and still he didn't react.

Serena gave a nervous laugh.

"That bad huh? I can't be any worse then you?"

Why wasn't he moving? Speaking? Why did he pull away? Did her breath smell? Mortified. Had she read this completely wr -

Again his kiss, even with a little forewarning - was still a little harsh. But his hands were along her back were warm, all of him was warm and he had pulled her against him and they stumbled for a moment as Serena's elbows got caught between them.

And then his fingers snagged in her hair.

Her thumb nail jabbed his neck.

He stepped on her foot.

She stepped on his.

With a gurgle of almost hysterical laughter Serena called a halt to the tragic attempt by tapping his shoulders.

"Time Out! Time Out!"

Darien gave a snort of laughter and buried his face into her shoulder; almost swallowing half a plait on his way down, and causing him to laugh harder.

Hugging her closer, he swayed them both back and forth - this is what happened when you finally get to kiss Serena; beautiful, fucking disaster.

She felt him shaking into her shoulder and grinned harder. Thank God he could laugh at himself, she knew he could and did laugh at other people, herself included, but to have a true sense of humour, to laugh at yourself - it wouldn't have lasted very long if he couldn't.

It was there. Repressed and buried deep, but there.

She snuggled closer with an appreciative sigh and a grin twitching her lips.

"We may suck at the kissing thing, but you give awesome hugs Darien."

Darien gave her a gentle squeeze, and probed for further affirmation.

"Do I?"

"Myhuh."

Genuinely pleased he gave another squeeze and continued rocking, only to slowly pull back at the gentle tap against his collar bone.

She reached up gently, mindful of her nails, his neck, hair, eyes, ears and anything else she could possibly gouge and pulled his forehead down to rest against hers - "I almost don't what to do this," the regret clear in her tone, "but I will - because if I don't, you won't." Darien completely swayed to a stop, waiting for her to continue. Serena pulled back and searched his face.

"Which one of us is going to mention the elephant in the room?"

Darien bit his lip to stop from smiling, this was serious - it was just hard to take Serena seriously sometimes, most times, when it was like this.

"And which 'elephant' would that be?"

Serena noted the eyebrow quirk, the lower lip twitch and ploughed on, but her courage staggered.

"There's about four or five of them - playing ping pong and wearing tutu's," Darien had begun to shake his head and bit his lip at the embellishment, Serena took a breath, this might be where she loses him, her self esteem may be tenacious but herself worth demanded it, "But I'd say the one that looms largest is the one that screams, 'Why have you been so mean to me?'"

The smile slid from his face, like ice off a dying glacier and he became still again. His eyes darted and plunged in panic, like a startled animal - too fast, she had moved too fast.

"Hey", she said with a little shake, "Look at me." She coaxed gently, one hand trailing along his jaw. He continued to stare off over her left shoulder - any moment soon she would hear his teeth start grinding up again. Time to make a concession, or was it a reprieve? Either way it came with a warning.

"Right Darien, you don't have to tell me - yet, "she saw the jaw twitch at the last word, absolutely wretched poker face he had himself there, "but you can't be mean to me anymore." She gave him a little shake for emphasis, "Or I'll tell her - and she'll take you down for hurting me."

That got his attention. His eyes searched her lips before meeting her own.

"I didn't mean to hurt you before, I'm so-"

"Not my lip you stupidhead. Emotionally; my feelings and for playing me like this."

"I, I'm - I mean - I'm not playing -"

Serena tilted her head, he seemed genuine - but then, her judgement was a little impaired.

"Tell that to her."

He the hell was she talking about? Beryl - She wouldn't - oh.

"You're going to 'sic' Rei and Lita on me, Serena?"

Serena shook her head, only semi-serious and then again only semi-joking.

"Nope - Amy."

Darien could stop the startled laugh and the incredulous, "Amy?"

Serena nodded sagely, "Amy would make it seem like an accident, she has more self control then anyone I have ever met and wouldn't get caught."

Darien stared through Serena, the very real potential of that reality taking form, "You're right. She really would do that for you, and not get caught. And that's really, rather disturbing. "

Serena moved back into his shoulder, nodding as she did, "So we're agreed - no more cruelty Darien."

"Are you blackmailing me into dating you?"

Serena gave a snort, "I don't think your 'cucumber' has to be forced into anything."

Darien shifted in embarrassment; he had hoped that Serena hadn't noticed that he had been aroused painfully since her attempt at Florence Nightingale. Or at the least have the decency not to mention it.

"I-"

"FUCK!"

Serena dove off Darien, and grabbed for the books still on the shelf, which had this entire time been cheerfully soaking themselves into a sodden, papery mess. "Fuckity, Fuckity ."

Darien pulled his school tie up, shoving the loose shirt tails back into his trousers and swiping his hair back from his face.

"You have to go, Darien. Right! Now!"

Shoving the sodden books against his stomach and reaching for the door, she propelled him forward and outward bodily.

"Wait-Wait!"

"No Darien - girls' toilets! Skipping Classes. You - Boy! End of period! You- OUT!"

Panic made Serena determined and gave her, seemingly, super human strength as she lurched him forward. He caught, and bit his lip - not knowing how to ask - and it stilled her for a moment - although this may end in a potential suspension, she couldn't just kick the puppy - not after it had come so far. Moving forward she wrapped her arms around his waist, feeling the wet books press between them. She pressed her lips just above his heart,

"We will discuss the other elephants later Darien, but I'm really glad you came here - Into the girls' bathroom, "Darien shook his head with a snort, but his eyes were wide, "- after me."

Darien nodded, took a deep breath and moved away from Serena, he opened the door, "Oh and for future reference - the Heart is on the left hand side Meatball head, just in case."

Serena cringed, so much for a romantic gesture stupid wanker - speaking of which, "Oh Darien," he paused warily at her familiar tone, but not as of the last 45 minutes, "you might want to hold those text books a little lower, for _immediate_ reference."

Flushing reds Darien disappeared out the door, but not before Serena saw his armload dropped considerably lower.

Serena grinned at the door before turning back to the basin.

And stopped smiling.

Jesus - how long had that piece of toilet tissue been stuck to her forehead.

Wanker.

She quickly turned on the facet, dunking her hands under, squinting her eyes and splashing her face.

"Is this another 'turtle' thing Serena?"

Amy, Lita and Rei stood in the doorway.

Lita scanned their dishevelled friend, and sagely pointed out,

"Your buttons are undone Serena."

Serena blushed and scrambled at her school blouse, only to find all the buttons present and accounted for. Frowning she looked back at the trio with confusion; Lita smirked and cast a knowing glance at Rei.

"Works every time. Right Miss Guilty Conscious, who _has_ been playing with your 'buttons' - spill!"


	9. Chapter 9

Dedicated to TemporaryInsane.

Who convinced me to keep writing, when I had lost all confidence, opened my eyes to a new world and gets my humour.

Kismet.

Thank-you all for reading.

The Plot bunnies are wreaking Havoc and require new pastures of blank word documents

–"be free, be free i say."

* * *

Serena continued to stare wordlessly at the three friends crowding the doorway.  
Lita moved out of the entrance to lean nonchalantly against the wall, school books resting on her hip one foot crossed over the other.  
"Oh I like this bit," she remarked causally to Amy and Rei; as though they were watching television program and not a speechless Serena; soaked and sodden and doing a rather remarkable 'fish-out-of-water' impersonation.

"This is the bit where she pretends that she hasn't been missing for an entire period, and wasn't aware that her best friends have been _**frantically**_, " Lita stressed the word with a rapid hand movement and a head twitch, _**" 'Fran. .Ly. **_- tearing the school apart looking for her; Fearful that she is sobbing her little heart out, " At this point of the lecture Lita thrust and accusatory index finger in Serena's direction, "And -Annnnnnd - the whole time, _**She's**_ been getting kinky in the third floor restroom. " Lita took in the flooded state of the restroom.

"Seriously Serena, what's with all the water?"

A sudden thought occurred to Lita, leaning in with a leer. "He's into the whole wet t-shirt thing, isn't he? I knew this guy once- "

Rei suddenly recovered herself, "God save us from your filthy mind Lita -Enough of your twisted social life this is serious."

"There is nothing filthy about having healthy sex life Rei. As long as it is all safe and consensual - it's repressed people like you that turn out all weird and go on psychotic rampages involving aquatic life forms!"

"I am not repressed! You have low self esteem - "

"My self esteem, like my appetite is just fine -"

Serena recognised the long standing argument for what it was, a gift from whatever deity looked kindly on girls with uniforms caught in disarray and slightly swollen lips from two terrible snog attempts. This spat was the opportunity to conjure some gloriously believable tale involving a flooded bathroom; tangled hair, potential blouse self consciousness, forty-five missing minutes to be accounted for...and, Serena's eyes quickly surveyed the damage searching, begging for inspiration, and landing on Beryl's textbooks.

Fuuccckkkkkk.

That was going to be a tricky one.

Serena had, and that was the specific use of the past tense, had intended to use the time granted by the patron saint of "Girls caught Out" , to come up with a plausible excuse. That time had evaporated when Serena found herself caught in the hypnotic bear trap was Amy's quiet knowing gaze.  
No words, just a simple tilt of her head and an even smaller tilt to her lips and Serena, without a whisper of a doubt, knew that Amy _'knew'._  
She hated to admit it but she part resented the sudden appearance of her friends. She could still feel the warmth of Darien's body on her skin, and the faintest smell of him lingered about her. She wanted to hold the last hour to herself, hug it tightly to herself - she didn't want to share it. Not yet. Just a little more time to really feel this giddy euphoria. To dissect it, pull it apart like a curious child and hold up each individual piece to the light and watch the prism throw a beautiful liquid, fairy shape upon the wall.  
Darien liked her.  
And share what exactly, what had happened, really? Serena raised her hand and gently touched her fingers to her lip. There was tangible proof all about her, from a bruised lip of a failed kiss to a pile of soaked school books on the bench.  
Darien Shields.  
She had just kissed Darien Shields.  
She did, didn't she?  
He kissed her. Twice.  
Welllllll...reasoned that little voice in her head; in a tone that implied a tilted head and a that 'maybe, maybe not' wangle of a hand, in an abstract sort of way...it mused...like those artists that pretend that a toilet seat was artwork...oh look, and your even in a restroom. How fitting, a public toilet for your first kiss.

" You have blood on your blouse Serena."

Serena's drifting mind had been brought back by Amy's soft spoken observation.  
Which had the same impact of an atomic weapon, Serena had never truly appreciated how loud 'silence' could be. The continuous drip, drip of water seemed to echo off the stunned faces of Lita and Rei.  
Lita beat Rei to it.

"Yikes Serena, what _are_ you into?"

"For _Fucks Sake _Lita -this is serious -"

"Shut up Rei, that is not the face of a woman in pain -"

"She -"

"It's okay –I'm totally fine– it's not my blood, I'm alright."

Another loud silence introduced itself, commented on the weather and proceeded to take a seat.  
Once again it was Lita that recovered first, but not before throwing Rei and Amy a look.

"Oh, okay. Umm - yes, that's much better " sending her an incredulous look and a Mamma Mia hand gesture, "I can see how it's totally acceptable to have somebody else's blood on you Serena -glad we sorted that one out."

Amy cast Rei a curious glance and Serena a devious one, "It is acceptable_ if_ that _someone_ so happens to be Darien. Well, it is to me anyway, after what he said in the hallway today."

Amy looked pointedly at Rei. Rei stared back, her face blank.  
Serena stared at Amy; usually at this point the soft spoken villain would study their fingernails. What on Earth was Amy doing? Her smile at Serena was gentle and genuine. The look she levelled on Rei was Cobra like. Hypnotic...a sort of message...  
Serena suddenly realised that she didn't know a very large part of what was happening, despite seemingly being the centre of it. And from the recesses of her mind, the one responsible for harbouring all the useless information, that childhood rhyme flowed its way to the forefront.

"For want of a nail the shoe was lost, for want of the shoe the horse was lost, for want of the horse, the rider was lost, for want of a rider, the message was lost, for want of the message the battle was lost, for want of a battle, the war was lost -all for the want of a single nail."

Lita aside, Rei and Amy seemed to be fighting a war.

"And I am," thought Serena with a grimace of self depreciation, "that bloody nail."  
Lita's eyes, which had so far flickered between Amy and Serena, suddenly zeroed in on the strange exchange of Rei and Lita. A small knowing smile was forming, damn thought Serena - when it can to Men and Rice Cookers, this broad was fast.  
Lita looked at Amy, then at Serena, and then again at Amy and finally at Rei. Serena could practically here the cogs turning.

It was like watching a Velociraptor use a door handle.

Rei finally spoke. "That's Darien's blood?"  
But the questioned was asked to Amy and not Serena. Serena felt a chill move through her, she couldn't explain the feeling in words, not if you had asked her, but a sense of being hushed and herded from the room while the 'grown ups' talked came forcibly to mind.

Amy gave a gentle nod in Serena's direction, "Serena's right over there, ask her."  
Rei sent Serena a dismissive glance; her face had gone strangely pale before returning her attention to Amy.  
The creeping chill gripped Serena with surer hands. "She just dismissed me," realized Serena, "Shush now - go play with your toys, the grownups are talking."  
Amy seemed unperturbed by the situation, but beneath the cool facade and gentle humour a real fear was beginning to grow. Amy's logical mind had been piecing the parts together since Beryl had been screeching about missing textbooks and class and Darien being an asshole. Combined with reports of the hallway incident, Serena and Darien's absence from classes and Serena's glowing face - well, opposites attract and undeniable chemical attraction to the point of combustion between the two, Amy reasoned that Serena was happy.

Rei was about to do some irreparable damage to Serena's fragile confidence if she didn't trend carefully. With Lita's help perhaps the situation could be salvaged and they could buy a little time, enough for Rei to calm down and see reason. Rei considered Darien her own personal property.

Rei didn't like losing.

Rei said things without thinking.

Amy knew that sometimes words once said could never be unsaid. The strange, sad look that was beginning to steal over Serena's face as she watched Rei, like a vampire it sucked and pilfered the warm, shy glow that had been there moments ago. "We took that away from her," thought Amy, "we took the happiness away. Whatever he did, he made her happy -and us, her, and 'friends' took it away". Amy sent a desperate look to Lita, and stepped around the militant figure of Rei. Lita didn't know the reasons, but sensing the tension and taking into account Serena's sad expression she followed Amy's lead without hesitation, ignoring Rei and turning back to Serena to grab take her focus in typical Lita style.

"Right, we'll l just dispose of Darien's body, you finish washing his blood off you - and nobody needs to know, lend a hand Amy."

Serena allowed herself to be distracted and shook her head at Lita with a new smile, "There isn't a body Lita, sorry to disappoint."

"So that's how it is, "Lita swaggered over to the bench top, with a quick and thorough survey located a dry spot and heaved her Amazonian figure onto the bench, long legs all a-dangling.

"Angry Sex in naughty places, nothing like it - details please?

Serena lit up like solar flare, "Jeez Lita, we didn't have...y'know."

Lita let off a peel of laughter, "But you did do some sort of 'y'know' didn't you? Come on -give Auntie Lita all the gory details - I would like to rub them in Beryl's smug, foot deep Max Factor face. How big is he, does the packaging match the product?" Lita manoeuvred her books into the crook of one arm and drew the index fingers of each hand together, "to the closest Inch shall we say, Just say... whennnnnnnn, " and began slowly separating her the fingers - " Jusssst say whennnnnnnn ..."

"Lita, we- that! Is compl -", Serena choked out part scandalised, part enthralled. From memory the hard length of him against her leg had sent a thrill through her- but she had been a little too distracted to take notes.

"You're absolutely right, "said Lita, taking on the tone of a wise and knowing woman of the world.

"It has nothing to do with the length, and everything thing about how they use it."

And as an afterthought, "And the width..."

"Leave her alone Lita, you'll traumatise the poor thing." Amy moved towards Serena and gently turned her to the mirror, "Come on, let's get your hair sorted out before sixth period and nobody but us three will know what a _Scarlet Woman_ you were during fifth period."

Serena allowed herself to be manhandled before the mirror, but caught Amy's eyes in the reflection, "Is there anything you don't know?"

Amy gave her the "Amy" equivalent of a smirk as she began to twist some displaced braid back into its weaved formation, "If what you mean by 'anything' is if I didn't know that Darien was the one that drove you to tears in the Library bathroom last week, that Darien deliberately fixed the Tutorial program in order to have you as his _option! _That you walked away from him in the Library, even when he threatened to call your Mother - "  
Serena, eyes wide, broke in on that one, "How on Earth - "  
"Eyes and Ears everywhere my dear."  
Lita was equally impressed and appalled, "Jesus, Amy that's kind of creepy, you're like a one woman social spy unit," tilted her head to the side blatantly curious, "What do you know about me, woman?"

Amy sent Lita a telling look, "Well since you usually begin each Monday morning with, " 'And then he did this hip, swivel thing –' ". Amy didn't even bother to finish the sentence as both Serena and Lita started laughing. Lita was an open book about most things, however when it came to sex she seemed to be more along the lines of an audio book, without a pause button, set to the highest volume. On repeat.

Rei's presence, so far ignored made itself known, "You better start telling me what's going on Serena."

Jerking up Serena caught Rei's eyes in the Mirror but it was Amy that spoke. "Actually Rei, as I just finished explaining to Lita over there, Serena doesn't have to tell us anything." Her gentle voice, as gentle as the hands that continued to set Serena's hair to rights, didn't waiver but the unmistakable stress of the word "us" directly challenged Rei's use of the singular.

Lita finally clicked.  
Serena liked Darien.  
Rei Liked Darien.  
Rei was delusional.  
Amy was trying to protect Serena.  
Oh Shit.  
Rei was going to be livid. Serious Damage control was required.  
Mentally rolling her eyes, Lita was the first to acknowledge being 'tactful', just wasn't her cup of loose leaf tea, so she fell back on the only weapon in her arsenal. Sarcasm. In hindsight, she should've just kept her mouth shut and let Amy handle the whole thing.

"Oh do catch up Rei, Even a blind ocean trench dwelling organism could have seen this one coming, hell even Amy saw this one coming, and she only looks at men because she wants to perform an autopsy see how all the insides work. "  
Amy acknowledged the comparison to a squid with an unperturbed, "Thanks Lita, appreciate the comparison."

"You are very welcome, Miss Amy." Lita trilled light heartedly.

" Shut. ." ground out Rei. "Serena?"

It was not a question or a gently query, it was a command. A demand for information, delivered in a harsh, jilted tone that expected – no, realised Serena, which assumed an answer would be given. Where Serena had only seen a dauntless character; an adventurous spirit, a generous and protective friend Serena knew that Rei held a certain reputation among the school body. She wasn't an enemy you wanted to have.

The whispers of "Bully, Unkind and thoughtless, inconsiderate..." had followed them all through the halls.

If Rei had asked in the spirit of friendship, out of concern - but Serena knew and it caused something to break inside her just a little to face that reality, to acknowledge that Rei was not concerned for Serena's sake but for her own. Like a shadow; undefined and only the merest hint of an outline, flickering just by the corner of your eye, this knowledge of Rei's unkind side followed you. Rei would not be happy for her. Rei would not be happy for Serena to have a boyfriend if that_ Boyfriend_ happened to be Darien.

All anyone had to do was simply speak the word "Darien" and a look would cross Rei's face. Rei's competitive nature and streak of ruthlessness had often trampled over the needs of her friends. Keeping the peace and acknowledging that sometimes simply letting Rei have her way was just a smoother path in the long run was something they were all guilty of.

Lita and Amy waited quietly, watching the thoughts move through Serena. Both prepared to wade into battle but hoping that Rei would have a spark of intuition and not be an utter bitch about things.

Lita was also pretty keen on hearing details. Amy may be content with this all-knowing Wizard of Oz trick she pulled, but Lita was just a mere mortal. Serena, Darien, flooded restrooms, blood sports and four years of suppressed sexual angst and you have the makings for one hell of a story.

"I'm still waiting Serena." Bit out Rei.

And as Rei began to run warm on a sense of outraged injustice, something Arctic began to stir in Serena.

Well fuck it all - No hope in Hell of this running smoothly, thought Lita – we have well and truly shifted into Bossy Bitch mode. Lita expected Serena's habitual flood of incoherence when confronted. " 'Umm's, Oh's, I's, Me's and Darien's." But all three friends, including Amy were rather thrown by the clear and steady look Serena gave them all in the mirror, only less shocked by the simple and calm deliverance of, "Darien and I are dating."

Rei gave Serena a steady look in return, "I don't believe it."

Lita went to speak but Amy caught her eye, the barest shake of her head conveyed much. Lita nodded slightly and remained mute. Some things just had to be settled outright.

Serena continued to be calm, while some small part inside her cringed and shied away from Rei's condemning tone and angry, white face, something else held its ground. Something like Rei's anger, cold and pale was rising within her; it lifted its head, looked around with interest and bared its teeth.

"Don't believe _what_ Rei?"

Rei ignored the entire question, "How did 'it' happen exactly?"

Anger flared in Serena, Rei was demanding explanations? She didn't owe anyone anything. Not Rei, not Lita and not Amy. But a small, smug voice goaded Serena into boasting. "Go on," it whispered, 'tell the brat how he followed you here and kissed you twice and held you till the bell rang, go on."

Serena gave a sigh and begun her quick and highly edited version of the past hour, Rei's stony expression watching her the entire time.

"After the fight in the hallway, Darien followed me in here and we had an argument. I accidently hit him in the nose when turned away and went to leave, "Lita sent her a rather speculative look at that last part, Amy didn't even bother tempering her expression with polite speculation she gave a gentle snort that spoke volumes. Like Hell that was an accident. "We calmed down and talked and," Serena felt that flare of resentment of sharing what was hers, it demeaned everything somehow, as if it was cheapened by being discussed like this - not a moment of girly chit chat, oh sure Amy was braiding her hair and Lita was hanging out for the gory details but, this was so sordid – like Serena was being forced to justify herself to Rei. Fuck it. She pulled her hair from Amy's hands and turned to face Rei. "And we talked; now we're dating. Believe it or not Rei – but you will have to deal with it."

All three girls were thrown by the harshness of Serena's final words. Lita was stunned. When Serena got angry, Serena got Angry. Lita looked to Amy, but found the girl looking at Serena with a sad almost resigned expression.

Something in Rei told her to stand back, take a breath and think. However that streak in her, the one that always had to win, that never backed down, Rei knew she was pushing it but she just could let it go.

Thrown by Serena's anger Rei instinctively changed tactics. "He's playing you Serena."

Whoa.

"Rei" Barked out Lita, "Don't listen to her Serena, She's just jealous -that you our beautiful little tragedy got what all her conniving, wiles and sad attempts of being sexy couldn't even get a second glance. Hell half the time he was pushing you aside Rei just to have another go at little S'Rena!"

But the damage had been done.

Amy had anticipated this, Rei was naturally competitive and Darien was not only her notion of the ideal boyfriend, ticking all the boxes - but landing that white whale would be a major achievement.

"Jesus," thought Lita, " It's like watching a national geographic documentary and the baby gazelle has walked out onto the savannah for the first time to ask a bunch of lions for Fucking directions. This is not going to end well."

This had to be cleared up, and although there was no questions in Amy's mind that she supported Serena. Her friend would have to learn how to fight for herself, and fighting for a boy was as good excuse as any to stand up for oneself. And standing up to Rei might be the hardest thing she would ever do.

"We like each other Rei."

"Has he said that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Has he actually said 'it', " Rei made a pair of obnoxious bunny ears, "Look Serena, I know I seem harsh, but let's be really honest here - this is Darien Shields and well you're just you. And you're one of my closest friends Serena, and you're friends have to tell you the ugly truth sometimes, come on - when has Darien ever showed you any indication that he wanted to be your actual boyfriend. "

"Rei," Amy gently interrupted breaking her own rules, as determined as she was to let Serena fight and fend for herself this argument had stretched into another class and Serena was already in a bad way.

"Shhush. "Without looking her way, Rei waved Amy off with an abrupt hand gesture. As one you would wave off a mosquito.  
Amy's gentle expression became as gentle as stone.

Rei continued her unrelenting focus on Serena. That expression of self pity and smugness growing as Serena's expression become more and more uncertain.

"Think Serena! Darien 'I-will-be –a-heart-surgeon- Shields asked you to be his "girlfriend" in school toilet? He was probably recording the whole thing and it's already uploaded onto YouTube. "Lita called out to Rei to _shut it_, and Amy moved forward with a harsh, "Rei! Enough!" But Rei barked over them, following up with far flung hands to encompass all of Serena's perceived stupidity and finishing it off with an incredulous, "It's probably already got hits in the thousands! How could you have been so stupid to think a guy like Darien would ask a girl he respected _out in a toilet_?"

Serena felt herself rapidly trying to replay the last hour in her head, but suddenly something that had been crystal clear became distorted under intense focus. What had actually happened?

It was like searching for a word you knew, one where you racked your mind and then would suddenly pop up into your mind for no apparent reason at three in the morning. But until that point you where grasping at a phantom.  
Serena had offered everything, he had offered nothing.

He had tried to leave and she had all but thrown herself across the door.

He had tried to kiss her, but then he was a teenage boy - he probably had thought he could wrangle something else before the bell had rung, even more ammunition to fling around.  
She had humiliated him in the hallway and the library, what better way to bring her down, make a gullible, self deluded fool out of her in front of the whole school.

Beryl, beautiful and cruelly popular Beryl, was probably in on it the whole time.

What had seemed sweet and spontaneous now seemed incredibly sordid.

Her first kiss had been in toilet.

She tilted her head to the side and caught sight of herself in the mirror, dishevelled and sodden.  
Something within Serena cracked from side to side.

Lita and Amy had gone were simply watching her quietly, 'They probably pity me.' Serena realised, they would make the whole thing seem like a silly little joke. Serena caught Rei's expression in the mirror. She seemed breathless, as though she had run a marathon. And waiting. Waiting to renew the attack. A battle Serena had already loss.

"You're probably right Rei; he played me this entire time." Rei's expression took on a look of superiority before she could check it, but something about Serena's quiet voice made her uneasy.

"He and Beryl have this whole thing worked out. It'll be all over the school tomorrow how Darien fooled stupid, gullible Serena into thinking he could possibly want her."

Lita moved forward, reaching for Serena, "Hey, hey S'rena sweetie, you're not stupid – "

Serena by passed Lita completely and moved towards the bench top. Gathering up all her books, including Beryl's', Serena refused to make eye contact with any of the girls. She moved towards the door."But you don't have to be so happy about it." Amy reached out for Serena's arm; only to have her friend jerked away distancing herself from any contact.

Amy's stomach twisted at the rejection, Lita's teeth bit into her lower lip and Rei suddenly saw for the first time the extent of the damage she had caused. Without a word or a glance Serena grasped the door handle and walked out of the restroom. Walked away from them.

Amy gave a short nod, her eyes never leaving the door, "Even if what you said turns out to be true Rei, she would have been fine. We would have picked up the pieces and dealt with it. No matter how unkind Darien would have been she would have handled it eventually. What you just did was much worse – you're meant to be a friend."

Rei stared stonily at Amy a mulish set to her jaw –a sense of regret was welling up through her unchecked.

Amy moved to leave but at the door turned to stare her down.

"If you ever "Shush" me again Rei, I will hack into the schools computer and fail every exam you have ever completed. I will ruin ever chance you have of graduating with us, cause you clearly have a lot to learn about being a human being, caring about the feelings of your friends would be a start."

Without another word Amy walked from the room.

Lita shifted her school books onto her hip and gave a sad sigh.

"Amy's right you know, she always is –but this time, she's really right."

Lita moved forward and caught Rei's elbow and gave the silent girl a gentle shake, "Darien doesn't chase anyone else around the school Rei. He wouldn't cut class or ruin his perfect school record to tutor her for a prank. Darien likes Serena Rei, not you. You have a different guy ever week, this was her first kiss and we completely ruined it for her." Rei flushed with shame. No longer able to hold Lita gaze and see that look of disappointment, she turned her head to the wall. Lita read into Rei's silence as a sense of denial and "I am right" defiance

"I'm going to try and find Serena and I think you should stay away from her Rei. Until you've got yourself figured out and have a pretty fucking spectacular apology prepared."

Lita turned to leave, but paused by the door.

"Fuck Rei – You can be seriously cranky sometimes it's like you're on permanent PMS and Serena's always the first one to defend you. Remember that, you tear her down; we all do because we know she'll forgive us. But I think this time; we have really fucked it up. Call me when you've sorted yourself out Rei."

Rei was left along in a flooded bathroom, chilled to bone and sick to the stomach. She may have just lost every single one of her friends. It was a despairing feeling.

Unknown to Rei, not so far away, Serena tripped through the halls, scattered and unstable – barely able to suppress her tears as she felt exactly the same way.


End file.
